Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Warmin' Up the House

We are gonna need to rewind a little bit here… I got backed up, and I still haven’t explained the gloriousness that was my housewarming. After a couple reschedules, Jason, Landon and I ran around like lunatics cleaning, and hiding all of our good liquor in preparation. I had decided rather than have a bunch of food, we should probably just have liquor (if they needed food, they could go across the street to one of the many restaurants). I made what I like to call “Donkey Punch”, and it has Limeade, maraschino cherries, an unfathomable amount of vodka, raspberry sherbet, 7 Up, and 5 hour energy. It was guaranteed to get you fucking drunk and keep you awake for the entire night.

My main goal of the evening was to keep the donkey punch flowing and keep people off the roof. We as a household may go out there, but dumbasses at the party I didn’t trust to not fall off (or at least not to sue me if they fell off, which is just as important, if not more).

Jason had brought home a large pirate flag, but we felt it was best not to draw attention to our house when we threw a party, so unfortunately it did not fly proudly. However, we did cover one kitchen wall with a paperbag and attach markers for people to write fun things on; because we are classy folks, we didn’t have string, so we used dental floss (which came in handy after the brownies Timmy made that um had some stems and whatnot in them). The best thing added to the wall was "cock juggling thundercunts," courtesy of Jessi, a quote from Parker Posey.

We are already discussing our next theme for the party… We were considering having a “flashlight and ski mask party” just to freak out the neighbors, but we definitely don’t want to combine it with our Fantastic Fall Frying Festival. Deep frying a bunch of shit in the dark seems like a bad idea.


16 comments:

Mike said...

Thank you for Donkey Punch. I'm going to try to make some.

Also, nice tits!

Slyde said...

congrats on finally moving into the new digs.. i'm sure that abode will be the focal point for some more wild stories in the near future..

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Hey, can you make Donkey Punch flow from your cans?

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Ummmm... a party.... My invite must have gotten lost in the mail. {{Sniffle}}

Malach the Merciless said...

So uh, when you running for Vice President?

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

lol u had a nice warming party...full of booze :P

tiff said...

Still laughing over the name of your cocktail. Heh.

Tink said...

Donkey punch sounds like something I would do to Hoop after eating too many of those seedy brownies. He gets annoying when he's high... or drunk... or has eaten too much sugar.

Colonel Colonel said...

Jimmy Buffet is in our state this week, so we all have our pirate flags flying.

Pope Benedict XVI said...

You will like Hell, yes you will.

The Manic Street Preacher said...

Why'd you not invite me? I'm sulking now.

Yes. Nice tits.

katie said...

love the pics as always, T-Money!!

have a great week! :)

captain corky said...

"an unfathomable amount of vodka"

There's no such thing!

Baba Doodlius said...

lightning bug's butt: If it could do that, she'd have to call it "Sucker Punch".

(Apologies, Tequila, I couldn't resist.)

Franklin said...

The concept of a "flashlight and ski mask party" is hilarious. I definitely hope to go to one of those one day.

I think I might try this one of these days, but I'm not a big fan of 5 Hour Energy... my favorite energy shot is 6 Hour Power so I'll try it with that instead. Have you ever had one before? They come in 5 different flavors (my favorite probably being Very Berry) and provide a lot of energy without the crash. Check them out at www.6hrpower.com

I work with 6HP so let me know if you have any questions about their drink or anything.

Franklin Keane
www.6hrpower.com
Franklin6hrpower@gmail.com

Real Live Lesbian said...

LMAO...if they want food they can go across the street! I'm SO doing that for my next party.

I'll have the booze, you bring the munchies!