Yeah, I know I went to Florida like a bajillion months ago, but I ended up getting super busy and never finishing the tales of my journey. One of the last days of my trip, I went to the beach with my best friend Mike, Casey (our friend from high school), and her interracial love puppet. His name escapes me at the moment.
Anyway, so we got there and set up next to a family, who was not at all amused with our talks of rim jobs. We had good times catching up, which was interrupted when I had to run to the dunes to puke (hey, I was on vacation, you didn’t actually expect me to go to the beach sober, did you?). I didn’t quite make it to the dunes, and yakked in the sand instead. Randomly, a sea gull found my vomit to be enticing. I’d be surprised if it didn’t get sick later.
We finished up the day by going to a tourist store so I could shoplift some souviners for my homies back in Minnesota. WELL COME ON; I didn’t live in florida for over 20 years to come back and pay money for shells. Anyway, I digress… Our shopping trip turned into us dancing around the store trying on hats and singing showtunes. It wasn’t the best way to keep a low profile, but the staff was more amused than suspicious of us. Or perhaps they thought Casey’s boyfriend would ‘cap them in the ass’. Not really sure, but either way, it was a day of sun, fun, vomit and shoplifting!
seriously!
About Me
- Tequila Mockingbird
- Minneapolis, MN, United States
- People either hate me or love me, there is no in between. Most people love me and find me entertaining at the very least. I can drink an exceptional amount of booze and bring legitimate good times wherever I go. Sometimes I like to say innapropriate things just to see people's reactions. I think average or "normal" is overated and that being ordinary is one of the worst disservices a person can do themselves. I crank this out, much like a redneck cooks up a loved batch of meth in the bathroom of his trailer. Enjoy... it will be just as addictive, like meth, only you get to keep your teeth!
Visits Since 09/02/07
Awards. Because I'm Narcissistic Enough To Think I Deserve Them.
19 comments:
Would you be disturbed if you found me eating your vomit along side the birds?
if i ever own a boat, i think i'll steal from you and name it "Tits Ahoy"
Next Interweb sensation, and Girl and Seagull and a Cup.
Next time you go to the beach, let me put suntan lotion on your tits.
(hey, I was on vacation, you didn’t actually expect me to go to the beach sober, did you?)
Well shit, my wife expects me too. That's why I usually leave her butt at the house when I go to the beach.
You should consider a job with Travelocity....who wouldn't want to travel with you?
Poor bird! Kinda like some things I've eaten...it smelled good at the moment!
You need to come to ohio and party with us! lol you sound like a fun time! :) Glad you had a fun trip... but need i suggest going to a tourist spot drunk... ummmm yea my gf did that while we were in Tennessee over the summer... needless to say she aobut knocked over a whole display.... fun times while drinking :)
Seagull was probably drunk afterward, if not sick. :) Was it flying erratically? Giving everyone "the feather"? Screaming incoherently at the beach patrol guys?
Doesn't everybody eat vomit when on the beach? Hmmm... guess it's just me then.
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