Sunday, January 11, 2009

Everyone Wants To Be Naked and Famous

Once again, it's been a hell of a weekend. Started early on Wednesday by catching up with Andrew over Snakebites (hard cider and Guinness) at Old Chicago. Friday Landon and I pre-drank at the house (I made some concoction with UV Blue, redbull, and then added in some pear cider when I ran out of the redbull). Then his girlfriend Lisa, her roommate Ashley, and The Novice came out with us for one of our old fashioned pub crawls in Uptown. I classed it up and brought a watermelon candy cane with (cause why WOULDN'T I have a candy cane at the bar in Jan?), and some weirdo at Stella's was like "ohhh NICE, I LIKE THE CANDY CANE!!" Yeah, thanks asshole. From the 2-for-1's there, we went to Williams, with a quick stop at McDonalds to get some grease to soak it up. Darts, pool, pints and peanuts set us up right. What happened next is subject to interpretation because none of us remember it... At some point on the walk home I *think* I fell in a snowbank. Why do I think this? Because I woke up with a rather large bruise on my back (I cant wait till it turns greenish yellow because it will make my fairy tattoo look gangrenous), my knee all fucked up. But WHY a snowbank in particular? Well, when I woke up my phone had so much water damage the screen wouldn't work and it didn't get a signal. I tried to bake it in the oven (what setting do you even put the oven on to bake a phone we wondered? We treated it like a creme brulee, where less is more), but no dice. Landon took me to Godfather's pizza buffet on Saturday afternoon so I could eat away my pain. Then to the sprint store where they gave me a new cell. I guess all is well that ends well. Or something. My injuries caused me to tap out early on Sat night, after only a couple Leinies Dark N Creamy's. PandaFrank and Timmy made fun of me mercilessly, I told them to shut the fuck up, because I was crippled. Not a valid excuse it turns out.


8 comments:

Jay said...

Maybe the microwave would have been better for the phone? Or if you have a shoe rack for the dryer you could have tried that.

I like the bruise. It's very colorful.

Malach the Merciless said...

We played football, you don't remember?

Mike said...

That's no bruise, it's a snow burn. Some girls get them on their knees and some get them on their backs.

moooooog35 said...

Maybe you got plowed.

Slyde said...

i'd settle for just being naked...

The Preacherman said...

Only naked doing your garden love. Have to be sober though if I'm using shears....

Scott said...

Sorry if I jinxed you with my snowbank comment on your earlier post. Now I'm saddled with all this guilt. Pass the vodka, it's gonna take a lot of drinking before I will be able to live with myself. ;-)

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Ouch.... that is one hell of a bruise. Are you sure that your liver wasn't trying to break out of your body after all the drinking? LOL