Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Weapons Galore And Cake to the Face

Sometimes the weekend is just so overflowing with good times to the point where it cannot be contained in one post; this was one of those weekends. Saturday I spent part of the day cleaning up shrapnel off the bathroom rug that was the result of too many raspberry kamikazes mixed with patron shots. Afterwards I went to see Ironman. On further reflection, I think the experience would’ve been enhanced if I had dressed up in tin foil and ran into the theatre screaming “I AM IRON MAAAAN!!!” I enjoyed the movie, despite my lack of tin foil (possibly because my flask did indeed come along), and I went to see it with Legos, who jismed in his pants no less than 9 times because as an engineer for Lockheed, all the tinkering got him hot and bothered.

Sunday was a weaponriffic day for me! I started off by shooting guns, partially as a late tribute to Charlton Heston. I will preface the story by saying I DID NOT DRINK ANY BOOZE OF ANY TYPE BEFORE OR DURING MY GUN RANGE EXCURSION. Granted, I do like to include liquor in many of my activities, but playing with guns seemed like an activity best done sober; it’s just a hunch. Anyway, I totally dug shooting guns, not only because the smell of gun powder is a turn on, but I got to shoot a range of guns—two Rugers, a Glock, and a fun zombie killing rifle (with infrared sight for killing far away zombies, not just close by zombies… which is good because the closer the get, the more likely they are to eat your brain). After that, I met up with the St Paul Drinking Team to celebrate Nick and Dorf’s birthday. Awesomely enough, there was a piƱata we hit with a hurling stick that was full of candy, little plastic bottles of booze (mostly schnapps, gin, and rum), pencils, the tape dispenser and Nick’s remote and USB plug for his ipod.
We dumped all of the booze in a punch bowl, added strawberry kiwi soda, and made shots out of it. Afterwards, we went to The Dubliner, where we met up with a bunch of other people and The Wild Colonial Bhoys were playing. Fortunately, because The St. Paul Drinking team knows the staff, they were ok with us bringing a cake to the bar. Of course it led to the inevitable cake smashing to the face. Oh, it’s definitely for the best that everyone tips well!

35 comments:

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Sounds like you had a smashing good time, Jolly good. Remember it's never to late to start practicing on killing zombies... It's only a matter of time.

Leighann said...

I am hereby officially requesting a picture of you in the corset holding that gun!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Leighann: this is doable.

harx said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!

Guns without booze?

You Yankees are twisted. And I thought Dick Chaney was originally from up North... get with the program ppl.

C.Rag said...

Good thing you have a gun to kill zombies.
I've been having nightmares of zombie rape. They have dead wangs. It's awful.

Mike said...

Okay, first off, girls and guns are hot! The only thing hotter is girls, guns, and booze. Seriously, I love shooting. I am not one of those gun nuts that wants to kill everything that moves, but I do seriously enjoy target shooting--even though I can't hit the broadside of a barn anymore. Looks and sounds like you had a great weekend!

Captain Flak Paperpants said...

I heard you kissed a fat guy. TRUE?

Ginormous Boobs said...

You make a smokin hot zombie killer.

Captain Flak Paperpants said...

Or maybe you just bit his tit. Either way, that makes me LOL.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

c.rag: i bet zombie cock would smell awful.

Harx: dude, i dont want to shoot myself in the tit, so i felt best to wait until AFTER to start boozing.

Mike: come up here and we'll go shootin!

Capt: no, i bit his fat man boob. i shit you not. get your stories right.

Ginormous: thanks, you would look hot too with a gun!

Globus said...

a chick with an m16 will always gain respect, but globus isn't sure about the shaggy-haired dude's part-facial.

Roland Hulme said...

THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MOST AWESOME-EST WEEKEND EVER!!

Redheadgirl + gun + post shooting booze filled pinata = sexy.

Jay said...

The pic of you holding the gun and wearing the safety glasses makes my nipples hard. Girls with guns is hot. ;-)

A few years ago we held a birthday party for a co-worker at a bar and brought cake too. The same thing happened. One dude hit a girl in the face with the cake. He got his ass kicked though so it wasn't as funny as it could have been.

Christine said...

You're enjoying life too much...I think you should sit home and be miserable like the rest of us sometimes so we can take turns having fun weekends.

R.E.H. said...

Specially designed guns for killing zombies... I need me a bunch of those! They're coming, you know - mark my words! ;)

And, how cool did you look holding that gun?

Hammer said...

Nice looking range and I notice that you have your finger in the right place :D

Meghan said...

Guns and booze and thoughts of theatre hijinks? You're officially my new hero.

Malach the Merciless said...

That gun picture would make a great t-shirt .. . now for a saying

captain corky said...

So if we ever meet up I'm going to bring caps and a couple bottles of liquor. Can you think of anything else I'll need?

lotus07 said...

You look good in shooting glasses, headphones and a seimi-automatic rifle. You should go postal more often.

Slyde said...

i jismed in MY pants 9 times when i saw iron man, too..

but thats just because im a comic book fanboy....

BBC said...

I was an expert marksmen when you where still shitting green runny crap in your diapers.

And without all the protection. Doesn't matter though, if you can't pull the trigger at the right time and when it's most needed with the right thinking you're pretty much fucked anyway.

A gun range isn't like real life where you may be under fire. The real gun men will shoot the place up, take the money and booze and you into the hills to have a good time with you.

Actually, you might enjoy that. If it wasn't for the fact that you are the vice president of your local chapter of THE INSANE CHICKS SOCIETY. (TICS)

Carry on though, but stay away from any gun fights because you wouldn't last two minutes.

billymac said...

hmmm... booze, guns, cake, and ironman... i'm tearing up as i write this

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Well hot damn girl!

I have some neighbors that I'd like to smash cake into their faces with razor blades in it. Mean I know but these people are freaks!

AngryGinger said...

I've been told I can't do any target shooting in the womb.

I hate rules.

Colonel Colonel said...

Is that pinata a giant strawberry?

Mike said...

Dood! You totally jizzed over that guys face in public!

That takes balls man :P

B.E. Earl said...

Those are some serious weapons you are sportin'!

The guns are impressive too!

katie said...

Love the pictures, T-Money!

You have a great weekend! :)

TED VELVET said...

i wish i could join a drinking team but i used up all my eligibility and went pro

The Manic Street Preacher said...

You can come and protect me any time babe. You n a big gun...

...mmmmm sexy

Creepy said...

"the smell of gun powder is a turn on"

Will you marry me?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

BBC: yet another creepy comment from you. what a delight. and i'm pretty sure i could pull the trigger at the right time, especially if you were right in front of me, spouting your bizarre creeptasticness.

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