Monday, June 30, 2008

Filling the streets with my noise

It was another big weekend. Somehow despite moving next door into Jason's house (I'll get to that soon), I still managed to have more good times than Target has mentally handicapped people working for them (seriously, have you noticed that too?). Friday night Landon and I walked down to Stella's for the first shift of happy hour, where we had to fight to keep our stools from being stolen by this Asian chick with a face like an old leather purse. Later Landon's large breasted lady friend (they were at least thrice as big as mine), Calvin Crustitron, and his friend Tony that was visiting from Cali joined us out.

I still cant quite put my finger on why, but I didn't think Tony was gay. Landon thought it might be an act, cause he thought Tony was hitting on Tits McGee. I saw one of the gays, Hector, on the street while walking to the bar, and I refuse to believe it's a coincidence that we had just been playing
the penis game. After Bar Abaleine and the Drink, we went to Burrito loco, where I was impressed when the staff chased after some assbag that stole the tip jar. On the way back home, Calvin Crustitron and I got in a stupid argument that left us screaming profanity at each other all the way down Hennepin. Nothing but class.

Sat. I still managed to have time to make blue, green, and purple jello shots to go with the red, orange, and yellow ones Melissa made for the Pride party. What better way to celebrate that with a spectrum of fruity booze?! Hmm, maybe perhaps the rainbow cape from the AIDS benefit party?

I wore it around Loring park for the En Vogue concert. It did well to hide the Guinness in my back pockets. Then onto the 19 bar, where we were trying to figure out if I looked more like a homosexual Batman or the gay grim reaper (we were thinking in place of a scythe, perhaps a large purple dildo instead).
Surprisingly enough, the employees at the gas station we went into were less amused with the cape and the stream of colorful people coming celebrating pride. I think of any gas station for me to be in with a cape, the Super America was the most appropriate. I still don't see what the problem was. For all they know I could've been a super hero; "Butt Genie to the rescue; NO MOAR TACKY DECOR FOR YOOOooooou!!!"

14 comments:

Malach the Merciless said...

You kids get off my lawn!

B.E. Earl said...

Thrice? Really?

And you usually are so good with picture evidence. ;)

captain corky said...

Nothing like seeing a good looking girl bend over with two beer bottles in her back pocket. Makes me want to tap that ass. ;)

AngryMan said...

No one understands you, Tequila. Persevere, and all will be well.

katie said...

oh T-Bird! great picture of you! and you always maintain your fabulousity throughout. something about a hot chick with beer in her pockets....well, it just kinda does it for me!!

Have a good one, my dear! :)

Leighann said...

No pics of the large boobies?? I'm so disappointed in you!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Well I can see where you hid two of the Guinness, but where did you hide the other two?

billymac said...

i'm totally calling shenanigans for you not posting pics of big tits mcghee...

C.Rag said...

Oh drinking beer out of ass again!
That brings me back.

Colonel Colonel said...

Three times your size??? She must have to have supports to keep from falling over.

Fred Farnsworth said...

Surprisingly enough, the employees at the gas station we went into were less amused with the cape and the stream of colorful people coming celebrating pride. I think of any gas station for me to be in with a cape, the Super America was the most appropriate. I still don't see what the problem was. For all they know I could've been a super hero; "Butt Genie to the rescue; NO MOAR TACKY DECOR FOR YOOOooooou!!!"

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