It’s that special time of the month again where I am filled with rage and discomfort. No, not THAT you sickass bastards, it’s Douchebag of the Month time, and this story had the big D-word practically scrolling off the screen. Congratulations Japan, for resuming whale hunting you are now February’s sumo sized Douchebag of the month.
Whale hunting? Come on Japan. Why not just club some baby seals after a nice hearty breakfast of panda sausage and scrambled bald eagle eggs? These Godzilla-douches are thoroughly stomping the whale population, killing more than 1,000 a year. As if marinating their fish with mercury wasnt enough, now they feel the need to swing their samurai sword of douchebaggery to get whales one step closer to extinction. And because the Japanese are like Nick Nolte and ass rape (inseparable), I doubt they will ever stop. Just like every time I see Nick Nolte, I remember the dream I had about him assraping me, I see the Japanese culture intertwined with a national sense of doucheyness.Despite my appreciation of sushi and the hot geishas they have, Japan has committed other douche-tivities. Like that kamikaze bullshit in World War II. And what the fuck’s up with them having people sleep in drawers? Seems like discrimination on tall people like me. I could never fit in one of those. Their subjugation of women pisses me off too. With their culture and history littered with much douchetitude, they were worthy winners of this award long before the restarting of whale killing.