Tuesday, February 19, 2008

It's About Goddamn Time!

So today I was sent the link about Lindsey Lohan posing nude as Marilyn Monroe in her last sitting (be sure to check the slideshow, there are boobs galore). WOW! Now that she’s not all drugged up and has a little meat on her bones she really has a decent set of cans. Don’t get me wrong, when she was Dachau thin and she looked like she could fuck me with her collar bone, that was hot too. Laying off the diet of cocaine and self-destruction is really flattering.

She says she did the photo shoot because she was a huge fan of Marilyn Monroe, but I’m pretty sure she did the shoot and agreed to get nekkid so easily in a last ditch effort to stay relevant. Yes, I understand she did the ragingly successful Herbie movie, but her fame was never because of her career, and people were starting to hesitate in hiring her. And now that she is ‘sober’ (we’ll see… I give it 6 months before she’s snorting something off of Paris’ hipbone), she can’t be a tabloid disaster, what else does she really have to offer us than some naked pics? Good move, Lindsey, probably your best one as of yet. Now get out there and make a sex tape and then your career will REALLY take off (p.s. make sure it’s in that green night vision lighting that they use to catch illegals hopping the border).

So, what I can’t figure out is who will like these pictures the most? Old men who had a boner for Marilyn Monroe? Pedophiles who watched her in the Parent Trap? Her creepy dad that’s always hanging around and trying to hold her hand? Hmmm… it’s really a toss up.

28 comments:

Buzzardbilly said...

I'm totally going with Creepy Dad!

Captain Flak Paperpants said...

I fucked Lindsay Lohan. She was OK, but I got herpes of the eye because of it and that shit is NOT COOL.

harx said...

answer to your question... harx

He likes Marilyn Monroe and underage girls!

Colonel Colonel said...

So does this mean she's gonna overdose and die now? I was sure Britney would beat her to that.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Harx: somehow i'm not surprised... you band guys are all the same

Leighann said...

A shitty photo shoot that fails to make her look even HALF as good as the original.... way to go!

Jay said...

I'm pretty amazed at the reaction people have had to these pics. Personally I want to play connect the freckles with my tongue.

Sure, I might have to have my tongue amputated afterwards cause God knows what I'll catch, but I'm still tempted. My nipples are kind of hard right now in fact. ;-)

TED VELVET said...

she's smoking hot but I have two issues with her.
A) tits are obviosly fake, well done, but fake. wouldn't stop me from doing what I do with tits though.
B)I like freckles but all the way up in her vagina seems a bit much. has she never heard of vaginal sunscreen?

as for your who does this appeal to queation.
this appeals to me on a purely vaginal level, as in, I want to get inside her freckled vagina.

Malach the Merciless said...

And to top it off, she is going in the same career direction as MM, she will dead soon.

Just Sayin' said...

Can I write myself in? I'm just askin'...

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Ummm.. I gots no complaints with nudity, but her trying to pull off the MM look was not that well done. She just didn't look that good in the shots. Now the boobs looked fine, no problem there.

Jon said...

She did these photos because she's a big fan of Marilyn Monroe?

I'm a big fan of pizza and I don't go around dressing like the Noid.

captain corky said...

I think next time she should do the shoot with a paper bag on her face, but she does have a nice rack. I'll give her that...

TED VELVET said...

I correct my original boob comment, from a side shot that I just saw they look real. Nice work Lindsey. She'll be dead from skin cancer long before the drugs ever kill her.

Tink said...

No way. I think she used a body double.

billymac said...

i think she's hot... nuttier than a fruitcake deep fried in peanut oil, but still hot.

Mike said...

Yep...creepy dad.

Speaking of creepy dad's, yeah, I think she looks pretty good now. Hopefully she can stay that way.

She's rackalicious.

R.E.H. said...

Mmmm...

I love Marilyn Monroe, and Lindsey is not half bad either.

But... when did she develop those boobs? I haven't noticed them being THAT big before?

Am I losing my mind, or did something happen to her jugs?

B.E. Earl said...

I tenth the "creepy Dad" vote.

Actually met the guy a bunch of times. He lives close by my town. We were at the same bar the night he got his DUI a few years back.

Nice!!

B.E. Earl said...

Also...

...nothing wrong with nice tits and freckles. Eh, Tequila?

(Just guessing)

Atlas Cerise said...

Wait til she gets naked in the next Herbie movie.

Jay Cam said...

who did like that? i mean sure, she didn't have a whole lot of clothes on, but she looked used up the whole time.

jessica alba on the other hand would have attracted some attention!

buffalodickdy said...

I don't why she does what she does, but those picts weren't that bad.... Probably wants to show she can make stupid career moves while clean and sober too...

The Doggy Did It said...

I do not think that she looked sexy at all...MM just exuded sex, the only thing liLoh exudes is green vaginal discharge and vodka.

She is a train wreck...and i am pretty sure I got "herp in the eye" from just looking at the pictures.

Mike said...

Yea, lohan just doesn't do it for me.

I mean, if she walked into my house butt naked doing the crab walk and asked me to bone her, I'd be in like sin.

Still, there are many, MANY way better looking celebs out there.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Marilyn had a real woman's body. Lohan's a poser. I wouldn't do her. I exceeded my quota of fucked up chicks years ago.

minijonb said...

i don't care how much of an icon M.M. was, Lohan's crazy to think this will help her image. she's still one of my favorite trainwrecks, for whatever that's worth.

Stewie said...

As I said somewhere else, I knew she had a fantastic body, but I was still pleasantly surprised.

Great writing, btw. I could comment on every one of your posts.