Today I developed a new found respect for my office and coworkers. I have bitched and moaned about the people I work with, and different passive aggressive shenanigans I perpetrated upon them in the effervescent spirit of douchebaggery. But this morning, something happened that washed away the tidal wave of contempt I had for their incompetence.
A little back story about my office, there is a grand total of 12 of us here, and we LOVE our cake. Whether it’s for birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, pet’s death, new babies (so far no dead babies, but then again the pregnant girl is only 5 months along), promotions, etc… we don’t fucking care. Bring on the cake. Especially early in the morning. So, knowing that it was ToolBag’s 35th birthday this weekend, we were all anticipating cake bright and early on Monday. When he decided to be a pussy and not come in because the heat in his car wasn’t working (fucking man up and put a scarf on!), we were left with a big decision. Do we wait until tomorrow? HELL NO! So at 10 am this morning, we all sat around the conference room table and ate half of his dairy queen cake. That wasn’t enough, though. But once we recorded us eating the cake while singing happy birthday to him, THEN it was enough. That was of course promptly forwarded to him.
The sheer cruelty of eating someone else’s birthday cake and then shoving it in their face was enough to restore respect in my coworkers. I guess I should probably stop poking holes in the bottom of the Styrofoam coffee cups now.