Friday, February 1, 2008

The Most Bizarre Convo Ever

I'm feeling a little hungover this morning, and my cell smells like $3 margaritas and has salt all over it, so I'll post a conversation an old friend and I had (dude, sorry; I held off on posting this as long as I could. Hey, at least I protected your identity.)

(10:23:43)HIM: there is one other thing that intrigues me although i have never personally tried it out...
(10:25:20) ME: what intrigues you
(10:25:39) HIM: heh your gonna think i am a weird reprobate and cease to speak to me :) (10:26:03) ME: just tell me, christ, i've probably heard it anyway
(10:26:18) HIM: Transexual women who have chosen to not complete the procedure. From all external signs they are women in thought and appeareance and yet they continue to have the original genitalia
(10:26:35) ME: i see. I can honestly say I didn’t see that coming.
(10:26:52) HIM: well transexuals in general but the male to female far outnumber the female to male
(10:28:46) HIM: hence the recent change in how such people like to refer to themselves as intersexual or some other term because they have chosen to be somehow both
(10:29:35) ME: so you want a tranny, to what, fuck you in the ass?HARD?
(10:29:51) HIM: heh, it would be an interesting experience i admit that
(10:30:15) HIM: has it never crossed your mind, what it would be like? ?
(10:31:00)ME: no it has never crossed my mind
(10:31:10) ME: i like guys to fuck me hard, and I like chicks.

(10:31:16) ME: but i do not want them combined
(10:32:19) HIM: i have heard some male to female transexuals still identify as bisexual and enjoy sex with women unlike the stereotype that they are just gay guys in drag
(10:32:40) HIM: ...with tits
(10:34:04) HIM: i guess i am glad to be just a run of the mill guy who likes to fuck chicks, and on a rare occaision feel the desire to have a guy ...
(10:34:24) ME: i dont know how run of the mill that is. Seems a little fuckered up
(10:34:32)HIM: heh i mean by comparison
(10:35:14) HIM: i think like you i prefer relationships with women because it makes sense to me but guys hold no interest for me in that regard
(10:35:33) ME: but they hold interest to you, in the way of them fucking you in the ass (10:35:42) HIM: if i had to say anything i would say I am like 90% into chicks and 10% into guys
(10:35:57) HIM: only under very specific circumstances
(10:36:03) ME: why dont you just have a fat man with boobs fuck you in the ass?
(10:36:13) HIM: hehehehe eww gross
(10:36:36)ME: ok, so THATS gross, but trannys are cool?
(10:37:18) HIM: no i think its cuz they look like women completely from the external except for just the genitalia which is usually hidden and its gone beyond being simply a drag queen (10:37:33) ME: wow, you’ve thought about this a lot.


(10:37:40) HIM: they actually feel like they are women ....not gay men
(10:38:09)HIM: or at least mostly female since some have kept the original equipment as it were
(10:39:28) HIM: if you had come across a hypothetically beautiful case would you consider it ? since you do like the female form and you do like to have a guy fuck you
(10:40:09) ME: NO! I WOULD NOT LET A TRANNY FUCK ME
(10:40:28) ME: ive told you, i love to get some dick, and love chicks bodies, but i do not want to combine those. it's like, i love eating lasagna and masterbating, but i dont want to combine the two.
(10:40:59) HIM: thats fine okay ... I didnt expect the strength of reaction just now
(10:41:26) HIM: I was just supposing... not suggesting you go to the nearest drag queen bar and get it on :)
(10:42:35) HIM: and personally neither would I ....just because i find it interesting doesnt mean i have an attraction to it on a personal level...
(10:42:59) ME: have you been with a tranny? how else would you know what it feels like (10:43:04) HIM: i just think alot about odd shit like that to try and figure it out why some people are the way they are , and why others are so completely different, but I haven’t. (10:43:12) ME: you think about it a lot, how much is a lot? Like every waking second? (10:43:24) HIM: i dont mean alot about trannys i mean all sorts of things
(10:43:33) ME: i see, so there's more? ok I’m tapping out of the convo.


32 comments:

Leighann said...

Wow.... that rates right up there with the convo I once had with a grown man who wore diapers and drank formula from a bottle.

Malach the Merciless said...

I think about a lot of different things too, but nothing like that, what is his stance in She-Males?

TED VELVET said...

gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
doesn't matter if it looks like a woman, has tits like a woman, bitches and complains like a woman, it's a dude and fucking dudes makes you gay. There is no middle ground. Not that there's anything wrong with it. P.S. don't post our conversations anymore. and Does Malach not understand this or is it just me?

Slyde said...

I always masturbate while im eating lasagna... it just turns me on.

R.E.H. said...

OMG! That was the creepiest, funniest and weirdest conversation I've read about in a while! LOL!

Was this some dude you know (in person) or someone you just came across in some sex-talk chat-room?

Eww! Now that I think of the conversation some more... Eww!!!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Ted: it's not my fault you inundate me with your perviness. i hope that trannys dick breaks off in your ass.

REH: it's an old friend. i dont go to sex chat rooms.

Jay said...

Okayyyyyyy .. not too weird then. ;-)

I'm gonna try not to think about these things myself now.


Oh and lasagna is VERY arousing. ;-)

moooooog35 said...

I told you to keep this conversation a secret.

I'll deal with you later.

I'm going to get some lasagna.

captain corky said...

Do you think the other 90 percent of him would be converted after one experience? Maybe he should start out with having a woman wear a strap-on, and see how it goes.

Mike said...

Trannys rank right up there with things I don't understand. I mean I can understand Tranny's being gay and all. That makes sense, but tranny's fucking chicks? Are they like lesbians or something? Fuck, I'm totally confused now.

I think I'm going to go beat off to some lasagna porn now. Now that makes sense.

Jon said...

I know I mentioned this a few months back, but I'm pretty sure my boss used to be a dude. Currently, "she" looks like Garth from Wayne's World.

Conveniently, I became aware of "her" flickr account today...

C.Rag said...

So when did you have this conversation with AngryMan?

billymac said...

I'm with the velvet on this one... dick is dick, it doesn't matter if it's attached to a dude that has tits or not... if that's what he's into, so be it, it sounds like he's struggling with the fact that he loves the dick.

Chuck said...

Wow, that sounds very similar to a conversation Slick and I had recently and here I thought he was the only guy into trannies.

Mike said...

Buddy can probably benefit from a full frontal lobotomy.

Also.

I won't lower myself to lasagna masturbation jokes ;)

Warped Mind of Ron said...

The trick is to let the lasagna cool to just the right temperature and then.... Oh, sorry.. Yeah that guy is totally gay. Not anything wrong with that, but you need to face the facts.

The Thinking Man's Babe said...

So, you're from Minneapolis, too? Must share, there is an impressive subculture of transexuals here...and I once went to a party with this guy who was engaged to himself. See, he asked me out when he was his straight personality, but showed up to my door in drag. His other personality...a lesbian, of course. It was very amusing.

No one is just male or female, we all run on a continuum...your friend should have absolutely no problem finding someone to give him a taste of what he's looking for...

Fun post...fun blog. Thanks for sharing...

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Hey baby, once you've masterbated with lasagna you'll never go back.

Sparkling Red said...

I bet you'd be interested in a documentary I watched on Joost TV (www.joost.com) called "A Few Good Dykes". There are some women making lifestyle choices that will raise your eyebrows. They have this fake military society where they dress up in uniforms and put each other through "boot camp"... I won't say more because I don't want to be a spoiler. But really. You should see it.

katie said...

wow. that's some crazy shizzle, T. i once had a convo with a dude that had boobs and liked to be milked like a cow. but that, my dear, is neither here nor there.

I wish i had read this before i did T week, man! Trannies! what a terrific T word indeed!

You have a great weekend, Tequila!!!

B.E. Earl said...

I don't understand anyone who would want to fuck a tranny.

C'mon...robots that turn into cars and planes and shit? I'd imagine hat it would really hurt to stick your dick in something like that.

PS - I think the above lame Transformer/tranny joke is copyrighted by Stephen Colbert.

Southern Sage said...

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth!
Just for the record I have never masterbated while eating lasagna either.
If that dude is run of the mill then I'm skinny rich midget.

buffalodickdy said...

If I ever reached into a girls pants and came up with a dick, there would be an ass-kicking that would make the local press....

Hammer said...

Someone sent me some tranny pics as a joke. The chick was hot until I scrolled down and saw sac... Not my bag baby...

Knowing some guys who have screwed horses and sheep I would think a tranny would be a step up.

Beach Bum said...

Now that hammer has brought it up I saw a video with a very hot looking chick doing it with a German Shepard. I have to say that video was just aa weird as the conversation.

Buzzardbilly said...

So basically this guy wants to be on the down-low with trannys. Poor trannys. No one likes to be used. Well, unless they like to be used. I'm now confused by the whole thing.

So rare to have a guy you never suspected as guy say he'd like to take it up the butt from a dude. I think I'm going to have to side with Teddy V. and Mike.

A Girl, A Boy, and Me said...

ME: but i do not want them combined

LOL - best line ever.

Sounds like you were as accepting as he thought you were.

Starrlight said...

Chicks with dicks fetishes are not that rare ;)

Here from Matt's, congrats on the COW!

BBC said...

Whatever you think. :-)

Buzzardbilly said...

Tequila, You've got an award to pick up at my blog. Congratulations.

Colonel Colonel said...

Your friend sounds like he has given this a LOT more thought than he admits to. Get him likkered up and take him to a tranny bar and take your cellphone camera...

Malicious Intent said...

I am so confused about my sexuality now. I need a therapist.