Sunday, March 30, 2008

Ass Darts, Electric Fetus, & Mongolian Stir Fry

Ohhhh, good times were afoot this weekend! I could've been out drinking at the bartenders' ball tonight (some deal where only bartenders get tickets, and there's free leinenkugals and appetizers... a friend of mine had extra tickets), but tonight I needed some time to chill out and stay in (despite my affection for Leinies, and the shenanigans that would've probably ensued), since I hadn't since the wednesday before last. Even I can't manage to go 24/7.

Anyway, Friday Landon, Hart, his brother Jayson( HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY!) and I drank on top of their roof, and discussed physics and Marky Mark. Now, let me explain it wasnt an apartment building, this was the third story of their house. Anywhere else but Uptown, this wouldve been weird to see (and there was a decent amount of foot traffic). In Uptown, it seemed ordinary almost. From there we went to Williams, where Hart helped me with my darts. Why wouldnt a game involving drinking and something that can put an eye out be a good idea? They aren't as awesome when someone stabs you in the ass cheek with them either (seriously, WTF Landon?! I think my response of a kick answered any questions you had about whether that was a good idea or not). Calvin Crustitron who joined up with us later, was drunk enough to be chatting with a chubby who had a boyfriend. That unnegotiably = a double fail.

Saturday delicious Ghenghis Grill followed up by The Other Boelyn Girl, and a slushie(enhanced by my flask full of vodka). The movie was mediocre. I think part of my problem was that I went in expecting to see Natalie Portmans boobs. I'm not quite sure how I got the impression that's what would be in the movie, but I did. And when this didn't happen, combined with the weird rabbit trails the plot went off on, my experience was only salvaged by the quality of my company.

Today I went to the Electric Fetus, a sweet indie store that's full of records, incense, blasphemous products (like the nun chucks), Pirate bandaids, smoking paraphanlia, weird books, and this awesome car air freshner I picked up.



I had someone recently see me parallel park, and being from the suburbs was like: "YOU JUST HIT THAT CAR", and I was like "no, I nudged them to make sure my car was nice and snug in there. " when you live in the city, as long as you aren't blocking a driveway or a fire hydrant, it's time to be creative, whether that means parking on a snow drift, or moving the dumpster up a few inches.

27 comments:

Malach the Merciless said...

I got a pair of nunchucks, I keep at work, the couple of nuns I work with love it.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

If I went to a movie to see Natalie Portmans boobs and it didnt deliver I would be raising all sorts of hell!! Thank god for the internet for a quick fix.

C.Rag said...

Natalie Portman doesn't have any boobs. It's Scarlett Johansson that has the nice rack. Please tell there was at least side boob action in the movie.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

C.rag: indeed their was side boob from scarlett. Natalie may be flatchested, but i still wanted to see her boobs. i'm all equal opportunity like that.

Mike said...

I saw Eva Mendez's boobs over the weekend and I haven't been the same since.

billymac said...

i too would like to see portman's boobs... it's a god-given right.

FOUR DINNERS said...

I always make sure my car is nice and snug when I park. 'Specially if I've a big Merc in front and a big off roader behind. Just bounce off 'em for a few minutes and you're in.

C.Rag said...

I'll discriminate against tic-tacs down a chick's shirt. I just have standards.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

C.rag: standards are good. it's what keeps me from blowing angryman.

harx said...

You bastards were talking physics and I didn't even get a drunk dial?!?!?

I smite thee!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Harx: next time. i actually figured youd have a show or already be shitfaced, but i promise next time i'll drunk dial the shit out of you!

B.E. Earl said...

I've wanted to see Natalie Portman's boobs ever since her work in "The Professional".

Huh, what?

buffalodickdy said...

I used to throw darts. and bet women $2 on the quality of their boobies- never saw any that weren't worth $2 bucks...

Mike said...

Last time I played darts drunk at a bar I almost got us kicked out.

Seems the bartender wasn't too keen on how I was throwing the darts.

He was just pissed when I missed and buried it up to the body in one of the wood support beams.

Pussy.

captain corky said...

My liver is so jealous of you! All I had this weekend was few measly beers.

Captain Flak Paperpants said...

Your life is truly ON BALLS.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Capt: that is probably one of the highest compliments ive ever received. thnx!

C.Rag said...

Atlas keeps you from blowing AngryMan.

Atlas is the jealous type.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

c.rag: actually, atlas is pissed at me. hopefully he'll get over it, but he's legitimately not talking to me. whatever. people shouldnt be so goddamn petty.

C.Rag said...

Come On! You & him shared the Missy Huggins experience.

Did you not allow him to call you Missy?

TED VELVET said...

physics and marky mark go together like toothpaste and orange juice. I like the air freshener though, I gotta get me one of those. I have a nunzilla walking nun that shoots sparks out her mouth, my kid is afraid of it.

R.E.H. said...

I love those nunchucks!

But, hey - seriously... don't you dare nudge my car when trying to park - I may have to spank you! ;)

Hungry Mother said...

You must have a little Chinese in you with that parking style. Or a little too much Irish.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Numb Chucks? Isn't that when Chuck Norris punches you so hard that your body goes numb?

Ginormous Man Boobs said...

Seriously, if we combine your good times with my good times, the world might explode.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Ginormous: wow, your boobs look hot there! also, i think if you and i got together, we would rip a tear in the fabric of awesomeness that divides space and time!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

We have a store just like that here. It's called Cinegraphic Studios. The guy that runs it is totally irreverent. It's our favorite little downtown shop. My daughter sent him an email asking if he needed summer help for when she comes home from college.