Friday, March 28, 2008

Double the Happy Hours, Double the Fun

I didn’t really feel like working out this morning. Actually, I felt like vomiting, so much so I kept the trash can by the elliptical. But if you can make it through the first 150 calories, you’re usually good to go. I cant really say I’m surprised, two happy hours can lead to some unpleasantness in the morning. The first happy hour was with my office, which wasn’t bad at all. We all get along well when we are drinking and not being dicks to each other. It was like motherfucking magic!

From there I managed to have a whole hour and a half to myself (it’s actually a lot harder than you think to manage that sometimes) where I hit the bong, Guinness, and the elliptical to work off my beloved beer that’s so thick it’s like you need to chew it. Also, it is handy that my beer bottle fits in the cup holder of the elliptical… it’s like they were meant to be! Then my friend picked me up and we went to the Herkimer on the other side of Uptown. It’s not quite as awesome and trendy as the part that I live in (I blame the goddamn hippies that make it so bohemian filth-chic; go smoke your hookahs filled with flavored tobacco somewhere else).
Beer


Anyway, so I’m usually a fan of the Herkimer, because it IS awesome that they brew their own beer, make the best sweet potato fries, AND you can play shuffleboard (hey, it’s about time I learn… I’m getting old; I turn 24 in a week). But last night they were not making my vodka cran’s very stiff, so I figured I’d get a beer (hard to fuck that one up), and then I remembered, HOLY SHITCOCKS! they only serve their beer there. Not cool, but I cowboyed up and tried one of their lagers. Not too shabby. My friend was not amused with the place because our waitress with the nice cans was ignoring him and hitting on me. In her defense, I was rockin’ some cleavage of win last night. I think we managed to come out even because I stole a Herkimer glass to add to Landon and my collection of pilfered bar glasses. Too bad it wasn’t all the way empty and my new nine west purse now smells of beer.

30 comments:

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Stealing beer glassess?! I will pray for you Tequila...

Now tell us more about the waitress with the cleavage and do you have any pictures :)

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Ron: I had the cleavage. she just had nice cans. no pix. take my word for it, i have great taste in women.

moooooog35 said...

I watched a rerun of friends.

Yeah.

And YOU feel old.

Hungry Mother said...

Does the waitress have any pictures?

billymac said...

beer glasses? was there more to the post after the picture?

Malach the Merciless said...

When you die can I have your liver for experimentation?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Malach: as soon as you shut the fuck up and start sucking that trunk full of dicks.

Lone Scrote McQuade said...

Beer on bottom shelf? Check. Now all I need is a girl with a butt like that.

B.E. Earl said...

2 Happy Hours on a Thursday night sounds like a good start to the weekend. I'll be boozing tonight and all day tomorrow in NYC.

We wanna try this joint, if it ain't too snooty.

http://www.deathandcompany.com/lounge/

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Lone Scrote: i fucking love your blogging name. seriously, i want to take it behind a high school gym and get it preggers

harx said...

Beer with elliptical? Nice.

I've tried taking beer with me out on a run but it ends up all shaken up, it's even worse in a Camelback.

I've given up on that idea, now I just stop at someone else's place after a few miles and steal one of their beers.

Mike said...

I've just moved the beer to the bottom shelf.

Tequila, get me one will you?

Mike said...

Well next time anyone has cleavage or cans, we should have pictures. I mean even if you notice that you are sporting some nice cleavage you should take a picture of it and post it.

katie said...

Have a great weekend, T-Bird! Love ya, girl! :)

Ginormous Boobs said...

Tabbie and I try and do a 2 mile walk every night. We've been known to drink a beer (her) or smoke a cig (me) during our exercise.

It still counts though, right?

Jay said...

haha .. I love how the sporting goods store claims that the cup holder on those ellipticals and treadmills are for Gatorade bottles. Yeah right. Maybe some a bottle of 1/2 Gatorade and 1/2 tequila (or vodka or Bacardi 151 or whatever you like). I actually didn't know a Guinness bottle would fit there too, but that is great to know!

A few years ago my brother in law and I both stole beer mugs from a micro brewery. I didn't know until almost a year later that my sister mailed them a check to pay for the mugs. Being related to such honest people really makes me look bad. LOL ;-)

Lone Scrote McQuade said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lone Scrote McQuade said...

Thanks, Miss Mockingbird. I'd like to violate your moniker as well, but don't worry. I'm one of those guys who believes that good sex should never smell like blood or poo. Especially not poo.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Lone Scrote: Just violate my moniker? hmm interesting... well from what it sounds like, you wouldnt be violating it in the ass, so that's a plus!

TED VELVET said...

I had that very same picture in my Christmas wish list post, so not only do you pilfer bar glasses but you steal perfect ass pics as well. Friggin' Irish, aries, april, birthday people, you can't trust em'

Sparkling Red said...

Does it help that girl to be standing on her tippy-toes to reach DOWN to the bottom shelf?

Something tells me I'm missing the point...

The Doggy Did It said...

I totally have a pilfered beer glass collection My fav is my matching pair of Sam Adams Mugs from Ruby Tuesday! Admittedly I have not added to it in quite some time, and with my habit of braking glasses, the collection is dwindling. But you have inspired me to restart my hobby...just as soon as I can drink again.

R.E.H. said...

Now, I'm all for beer. And, I'm all for working out... but taking the beer on to the elliptical... doesn't that sort of negate the use of it? ;)

Love that picture. Such a good girl - notice how she even stands on her toes to get that ass up a little higher. Got her number?

The Doggy Did It said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Warped Mind of Ron said...

Tequila, this post was worth reading (looking at) twice. Great post :)

Real Live Lesbian said...

Prove that you have great cleavage! ;)

Did that work?

AngryMan said...

The dedication it takes to drink while working out. You, my friend, are a true inspiration.

C.Rag said...

We, my melons, need a picture of waitress with rocking cans along with your rack.

Christine said...

Seeing that the actually process of working out too hard has made me vomit, the idea of going anywhere that doesn't have a soft couch, a fluffy pillow and large amounts of ice water to sip after drinking the night before horrifies me. You're my hero once again.

lotus07 said...

Men put beer on the bottom shelf only for the blondes....the brunettes and redheads know how to kneel.