Thursday, March 27, 2008

I AM Mrs. Chuck FUCKING Norris


I'm sure you are aware of the facts surrounding Chuck Norris; if you arent, you should not only be horribly ashamed of yourself, but you should rectify the situation before He (yes, I capitalized it, just as if I was writing about a diety) finds out and delivers a roundhouse kick to your taint. Anyway, this guy, Ian Spector illustrated some of the most awesome facts about him. Check it:





























23 comments:

TomboCheck said...

OMG, freaking helarious!

B.E. Earl said...

Chuck Norris should be in more comic-booky kinda things.

He IS a comic-book.

I mean that as a compliment, by the way.

Malach the Merciless said...

Chuck Norris is no Bruce Lee, Bruce kicked his ass once it is on film

Baba Doodlius said...

Oh yeah? Well I know Bird Fu! Hwah!

RockDog said...

tried that Boooya! thing, but it didn't work for me. All Hail Chuck!

Jay said...

Some people just have way too much talent. They need to share with others. Like me. I don't really have any talent. He could share a bit of his artistic talent with me and not miss it. haha

The Doggy Did It said...

wow, I had no idea Chucky had so many talents.

Anndi said...

I pink puffy heart Chuck...

hehehe!

That was funny!

Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris is a geriatric tool that can no longer get it up without pharmaceutical assistance.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Malach: bitch, you have never read my post about how it LOOKED like chuck norris got beaten by bruce lee, but who's still alive? chuck fucking norris. he stole bruce lees soul.

Rockdog: do not be dissapointed because you cannot aspire to Chuck Norris awesomeness.

Anonymous: guess what? you can suck a trunk full of dicks. what have you done that beats Chuck Norris? Does the boogey man check his closet for YOU at night? HELL NO. so get to sucking.

XOXO

AngryMan said...

BEST BOOK EVER!!!

R.E.H. said...

Yeah, I do that point and "booya" thing too. Not as much fun as the other way of having a woman climax, though ;)

After reading this, I'm starting to understand your fixation with Mr. Norris though ;)

moooooog35 said...

I can't wait for the post on David Carradine!!

B.E. Earl said...

You've received glorious accolades over at my blog.

Come on over and see, beeyatch!

Leighann said...

Your awesomeness astounds me!

I mentioned you and Chuck on my blog today, hope you'll stop by!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

leighann: fucking hawt, thanks!

billymac said...

i thought you just called leighann a fucking twat... i think i need glasses.

chuck norris is a pussy, techno-viking can whoop that ass.

C.Rag said...

If Chuck was your Baby's Daddy, it would be a GingerChuck.

That would be the most powerful thing ever ever.

You should punch Malach in the throat for his comment.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Billy: fucking techno viking would get his freak as beaten, and spinal cord pulled out through his throat if he tried to fuck with chuck.

C.rag: gingerchucks would totally pwn.

GET TO PUNCHING THAT BLASPHEMOUS MALACH!

TED VELVET said...

they should have an illustration of Chuck sucking Mike Huckabee's nuts. you know Chuck doesn't have nuts? he's got two smaller chucks.

Tink said...

Hoop LOVES that book. He picked it up the last time we went to Borders and followed me around for a half hour quoting things out of it. People were cracking up around us.

Sparkling Red said...

Another favourite of mine is:

Chuck Norris uses hot sauce for eyedrops.

Yowza! Now THAT'S manly.

Lone Scrote McQuade said...

Great post. I will own this book.