Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Trying to outweird the weirdo

Because my screen name on yahoo looks slutty, I get some random weirdos trying to cyber me up. This morning I got one that was more unusual than the rest, so I figured I would make it a game to see if I could outweird him. Hillarity did ensue. I left his real screen name in, so feel free to instant message him for a chat!

(9:16:04 AM) panty_hose95: Hi!! Care to chat...m/ct
(9:19:17 AM) ME: hmm right...i'm not a cybering person, sooooo if that's your brand of good times, you'll probably be dissapointed
(9:19:57 AM) panty_hose95: not into cyber either
(9:20:26 AM) ME: then what
(9:20:40 AM) panty_hose95:
(9:20:47 AM) ME: wtf.. what about it?
(9:20:53 AM) ME: got some weird fetish?
(9:21:10 AM) panty_hose95: lol..yea..long time fetish I guess
(9:21:26 AM) ME: fun, so do tell, what do you do with this fetish?
(9:23:12 AM) panty_hose95: Check out pics of ppl in with em...wear em at
(9:24:55 AM) ME: and youre a dude, right? do you wear any other lady clothes?
(9:25:35 AM) panty_hose95: yea...heels and panties at times
(9:26:11 AM) ME: do you have a wife that plays along?
(9:26:34 AM) panty_hose95: no...g/f..doesn't like it
(9:26:44 AM) ME: hahahahah, i imagine not
(9:26:57 AM) ME: does she get pissed if you steal her panty hose and put a runner in them? id be pissed
(9:27:11 AM) panty_hose95: have my own
(9:27:46 AM) ME: well that's respectful of you; disrespetful sexual deviants suck!
(9:30:42 AM) ME: so do you like women to jack you off with pantyhose feet?
(9:31:06 AM) panty_hose95: mmmm...yea that would be great!
(9:31:17 AM) ME: what if they have snaggly toenails? or their feet smell rancid
(9:31:45 AM) panty_hose95: then!
(9:32:05 AM) ME: hmm, probably a good call, chief! so do you ever have them toe fuck you in teh ass?
(9:32:44 AM) panty_hose95: no
(9:32:50 AM) ME: hmm, maybe you might like it; you seem to be openminded... and if they were wearing pantyhose......
(9:33:29 AM) panty_hose95: maybe....would love a pair of your panties to enjoy ttho!
(9:33:42 AM) ME: i bet. hey, i know what youd like even more..
(9:34:03 AM) panty_hose95: what?
(9:35:10 AM) ME: someone with panty hose on their head coming up behind you and taking you by force; youd get a reach around, but i'm pretty sure there woudl be some anal penetration
(9:35:34 AM) panty_hose95: lol
(9:35:40 AM) ME: so, that's a yes?
(9:36:03 AM) panty_hose95: maybe
(9:36:11 AM) ME: interesting; what if someone was jacking you off with their foot and htey had athletes foot?
(9:36:48 AM) panty_hose95: no
(9:38:11 AM) ME: why not? sometiems it can be stealth. you dont notice it until the skin starts yellowing and peeling and itching.. it would probably suck if that happened to your penis
(9:38:27 AM) panty_hose95: lol
(9:39:08 AM) ME: is it hard to fit your balls into a thong?
(9:39:44 AM) panty_hose95: times
(9:40:04 AM) ME: k. do your shave your nuts? id think the hair poking through would snag the pantyhose
(9:40:30 AM) panty_hose95:
(9:40:58 AM) ME: how do you feel about donkey punches?
(9:41:26 AM) panty_hose95: what?
(9:41:35 AM) ME: you know, donkey punches. like if i was fucking you in the ass with a strap on and punched you in the face as you were about to cum
(9:41:58 AM) panty_hose95: no
(9:42:11 AM) ME: like a definite NO or like if i got you drunk enough youd be game for it
(9:42:45 AM) panty_hose95: no good
(9:43:01 AM) ME: how do you know until youve tried it. you might be surprised... a punch in the face when your cumming hard might be just what you need. i mean, you could wear your panty hose while i did it
(9:45:15 AM) ME: i'm taking your lack of answering for quiet contemplation of the hotness of that


harx said...

He doesn't like donkey punches? What a fag.

C.Rag said...

So that's why AngryMan has a lot of panty hose.

TED VELVET said...

when Al Gore invented the Internet I doubt he could have conceived of the unlimited educational value or could have dreamed of just how much important knowledge would be exchanged between disparate peoples across physical and cultural boundaries, eradicating ignorance and expanding the quality of life for all of us. God bless you and pantyhose man.

moooooog35 said...

What about the Bismarck? Does he like the Bismarck?

By the way...I had no idea that was you.

My mom has a similar IM name and I mixed you two up.



Warped Mind of Ron said...

Panty Hose?? What a weirdo!! Now if you were talking about jacking off with hand puppets while dressed as the statue of liberty, now that's another story :)

Hungry Mother said...

I got off on that. Thanks.

Tink said...

Have I told you how fucking brilliant you are lately?


Well you are.

Malach the Merciless said...

Hey that is Captain Flak Paperpants IM name!

Leighann said...

I once chatted with a dickwad that wore diapers and drank from a baby bottle. He sent me pics and everyting.

Damn, if only I'd have thought to save the conversation!

Captain Flak Paperpants said...

WRONG. I am panty_hose69!

Mike said...

Excellent. I'm going to load yahoo and see if I can out weird YOU!

Ginormous Boobs said...

My blog was started to out these kind of creeps. In fact, my first week of blog posts was all about effing with them.

It's so much fun.

captain corky said...

I swear... I'm not panty_hose95...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Mike: bring it.

billymac said...

i think that the pantyhose man may have offed himself after that im session when you helped him realize what a tool he is.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Billy: no shit. he was a tool. i cant believe he tapped out so early though. i figured id need to get into the cleaveland steamers before he realized what a dbag he was.

Real Live Lesbian said...

LMAO....I meam girl, that's the funniest shit I've heard in AGES!

My favorite: disrespetful sexual deviants suck! Don't they though?

R.E.H. said...

Haha... you crack me up! Never heard the term donkey punches before... don't think I'd want to experience it either... weirdo's!

Funny! ;)

B.E. Earl said...

I'm pretty sure that is Slyde's Yahoo handle.

If it's not, then I think I see a match made in heaven!

Jay said...

hahaha ... that is hilarious and made me very uncomfortable at the same time. ;-)

lotus07 said...

That is the last time I chat with you on-line.....panty_hose95

Christine said...

Hmmm, why pantyhose vs stockings? Can you get him back and ask him that? Actually, let me write up a bunch of questions...I am intrigued (and need to get out more apparently).

Jon said...


g-man said...

You are one twisted broad! (IN a good way) That was too funny!! You rock.

I think I ma going to try to see how many time I can use the term Donkey Punch tomorrow at work.

Wyldth1ng said...

You are the nicest person I have never met.