Monday, March 24, 2008

Props to Jesus, The Gays, And Varmints

My weekend didn’t actually go like planned, but if it had, I’m not sure it would’ve been as much of a blast. Friday I was still struggling with my cold, and figured I’d stay home with some Magner’s Irish hard apple cider. Halfway through the 6 pack, Calvin Crustitron excitedly calls, saying the cougar from our pub crawl last weekend texted him and we all needed to go out. Hart and his brother Jason further encouraged me to come out with them, and when Landon’s date tanked because it turned out she was larger than he thought, me going out was solidified. I finished the rest of my Magners while watching a documentary on prostitutes with Calvin and Landon until the happy hour specials started. It was a pretty typical night of drinking with the boys; Old Chicago, then to Stella’s for two-for-one’s, and finishing up at the Independent.

Saturday I managed to be productive, despite my decision to overcome my slight hangover by staying in bed for two hours and chonging down. Then the gays called to invite me over for turkey dinner (thanks for all your hard work making it Chelsea!), which was more for Shane’s birthday as opposed to Easter. Either way, root beer barrels, pink champagne, and Guiness added to the celebration. Part of the carrot cake got eaten by the dog, but we just cut off that section, re-frosted it, and popped some Easter egg candies in the side. Which reminds me, I’d like to give a big shout out to Jesus, for dying and all that jazz, because he made possible some delicious butterfinger eggs! As
Jon from White Boys can dance says “Way to take one for the team, guy!”
MMmmFUCKINcake!!!
I also found out a few awesome things at Saturday night's turkey dinner that I did not previously know:
  • Degrassi rocks. Yes, it's for teens, but they have all kinds of scandelous shit going on that is HIGHLY entertaining.

  • Nate gives great foot rubs. Ohhh those are some lucky bastards that get handy-j's from him, cause those fingers are MAGIC!

  • Timmy is ferret sitting, so we played with them. HOOORAY for these little weasly varmints! Timmy would not let me give them Guinness though. *sighs*



Sunday Landon and I celebrated Easter in a somewhat untraditional way. I think it was acceptable to eat Chinese buffet because of the name of the place "Eastar Buffet"

They werent in such a celebratory mood there... they regarded us pale faces with much scorn, but that might have been because we were skimming the meat off all of the dishes. But hey, Fuck 'em if they cant take a joke!

23 comments:

moooooog35 said...

Did they sing you any songs at the buffet, like they did in "A Christmas Story?"

Did you have chocorate?

captain corky said...

When are they going to realize that nobody wants to eat any fucking snow peas or water chestnuts!

Sure vegetarians pretend they want to, but we all know that deep down inside all they really want to eat is meat. Just like the rest of us red blooded Americans. ;)

Ginormous Boobs said...

My main gay also gives THE BEST food rubs ever. They must read a manual or something.

Leighann said...

My husband was once attacked by a ferocious vicious ferret!!

*snicker*

If only I'd have been there to see that!

fa ra ra ra raaa!

Captain Flak Paperpants said...

I've said it before, I'll say it again.


HELLOOOOOO PARTY GIRL!

FOUR DINNERS said...

Just shove a chop stick in their eye babe. Always surprises em does that.

We had an Easter special on Jesus on TV and he was cross eyed, I kid you not! Still I'd be cross eyed if someone did all that to me...

Didn't actually watch it. Too pissed and sulking 'cause football was on but the in-laws haven't got Sky.

oi! Booby, you're 'main gay'??? How many you got???

Ginormous Boobs said...

I got gays everywhere.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Ginormous & Four Dinners: you can never have enough gays.

Tequila Mockingbird said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
billymac said...

man do i hate it when long rodents eat my balls...

Slyde said...

That scene from "A Christmas Story" was the first thing i thought of as well! Pretty fucking funny!

Sleepy Scott said...

Excellent! I just love recaps on drinking weekends. I haven't posted one myself in nearly two months. It is time to get my drinking mojo back in gear, now that lent is over. Yay!

B.E. Earl said...

Most of our gays are lesbians, but we had after-dinner drinks with our main gay pal last night. No foot rubs, so I don't know about his skillz in that area.

Root beer barrels....might be the best bar drink ever! Will always remind me of Key West. The gays too!

AngryMan said...

You should let Cash loose on those ferrets. That would be entertaining.

Malach the Merciless said...

Ahh, nothing like homos celebrating Jesus! Sounds like my life.

Jon said...

Wow, did I really say that about Jesus?

Yes. Yes I did. And thanks for the link love.

Beach Bum said...

Ferrets are cool but one did bite the living shit out of me once. Damn thing didn't go for my balls but took a hunk of meat from my left foot. Three days later it died a painful death. But I refuse to believe the foot bite and its death are related.

Jay said...

Magners is awesome! I love that stuff.

I don't do Chinese Buffets though. They always make me sick for some reason.

buffalodickdy said...

Interesting Easter! What kind of meat were you skimming? It is Year of the Rat, you know...

Colonel Colonel said...

We used to do Chinese Buffet for Easter all the time. It was great, because we were usually the only ones there.

R.E.H. said...

"Eastar Buffet" - what a great choice for some chinese Easter eats!

Ferrets scare me... they're cute and all - but they're vicious little creatures!

Tink said...

Hey now Corky, I eat water chestnuts. They're oh-so-cruncy and flavorless. Mmmmm.

C.Rag said...

Degrassi is the only thing Canada produced that was worth a damn.