Monday, April 14, 2008

Boot and Rally

What is boot and rally, you may ask.

Boot and Rally
(n): to continue drinking steadily and heartily, even when you feel like passing out or getting sick; that’s the time to cowboy up and finish out the night in good form, without being a burden on others around you.

This was the quintessential boot and rally weekend. Friday, I burned 600 calories when I got home from work, then met Jason at Green Mill for a warm up with Absolut Pear and red bull. Luckily, the bartender I pissed off when he was a patron at another bar didn’t recognize me, or maybe just didn’t hold a grudge.


Landon personified the “boot and rally” spirit, as he had been ill all weekend, so much so he had missed a few days of work, and was hopped up on cold meds… yet he still managed to man up and came out with us. Hart, Jason, Landon and I snagged a cab to downtown, had a few at the Local, then went back to Uptown to Williams. I was drunk, to the point that I was failing at darts and spilled popcorn in the fooseball table. But after a text from Landon, telling me I needed to buck up because I was being a disgrace to the Irish, I managed in total boot and rally fashion, to become aware enough to notice when some chick was about to steal my coat. We finished the night off with some Ramen and pizza rolls, because HEY, why wouldn’t they go together?

I thought the party the gays were throwing was next weekend, but when I found out it was
Saturday night, it was time to boot and rally yet again. It was a Caribbean-Hawaiian party, so of course I used it as an excuse to wear my pirate costume from Halloween. I couldn’t figure out why people were staring at me on the drive over, but then I realized that it IS a bit odd to see someone in a pirate costume in the middle of April…

I got there early, at 4 , so I could make Jello shots (I made double batches of grape, blue raspberry, red raspberry and peach), they turned out well, but I got Martha Stewart’d when someone else brought their jello shots in a hollowed out orange. However, because I did get there so early, I needed to take a time-out and drink water for an hour so I wasnt passed out by the time the majority of hte people arrived... HOWEVER, if you show up at 10pm and there are already people passed out, you KNOW you've come to a good party!


We made special brownies, but they weren’t like pants-on-head-special, more like different-classes-special (but not for lack of trying). We had two blenders out on the deck, and my blender leftovers of both margaritas and rummy fruity drinks the gays wanted me to make them drinks… as the night wore on, my proportions got a little fucked up, to where the last couple weren’t as fantastic as the first three or four batches.

I’m not sure how with 80-some people there, the majority of my pics had Timmy in them
We weren’t sure what to do with the coconut (we ended up pouring the milk into chocolate shot glasses), BUT we did get to find out how many drunk pirates it took to crack open a coconut.

38 comments:

harx said...

I have it on good authority that coconuts cannot be opened by drunk pirates.

At least not in less than 15 pieces.

C.Rag said...

What are you shoving up that guy's ass?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Harx: ding ding ding! you are correct!

C.rag: nothing.. it's just the other part of his grass skirt that he had made a tail with. and i'm holding on to it.

Mike said...

I totally booted and Rallied up this weekend.

I had THREE beers at the bar! THREE!

I couldn't believe I held my dinner down ;)

C.Rag said...

Damn! Did you & the chick who tried to steal your coat get into a hot cat fight?

B.E. Earl said...

I haven't had a good "boot and rally" weekend since my college years.

Now, it's more like "nap and rally".

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Mike: sounds like some FAIL to me....

C.rag: no, she wasnt hot. she was actually homely and overweight. however, i had a yummy chick at the party hitting on me, but i was there with someone, so i felt it would be rude to go home with a chick... also i think it was a package deal with her boyfriend, and that's not my type of rodeo...

Midleah said...

Holy chit, you've drunk yourself back into January?!?

Awesome.

Hungry Mother said...

You're making me miss drinking. If I ever start again, I tip you off so you can invest in Tanqueray and Guinness stock.

moooooog35 said...

A party with gays and coconuts.

This has "bad Rohipnol experience" and "emergency room anal-extraction visit" written all over it.

Ginormous Boobs said...

I need to learn your boot and rally secrets. After the martini party on Friday, I was in recovery mode the rest of the weekend.

billymac said...

wow... beer, margaritas, coconuts, gays, AND cake... the "boot" portion must have at least been colorful.

katie said...

oh, t-bird, that outfit rocks on you!! you look fabulous. and screw that chick's hallowed out orange filled with jello. i love the variety of flavahs you brought to the party. and i am sure everyone there did too!!

you have a great week, my dear! :)

Mike said...

Tequila:

When I was your age, I woulda joined you whole heartily.

If I didn't have the spins at the end of the night, it wasn't a good weekend.

BUT

I'm older, wiser, and have much better things to waste my money on.

One day, you might learn this too :P

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Mike: 1. i didnt spend any money, except on the stuff to make jello shots... but no worries, i consumed way more than i spent.
2. you arent THAT much older than me now. dont douche out early.

Tink said...

The last time I boot and rallied, I rallied all over the sidewalk outside. Then I booted myself to the bathroom, where I hugged the toilet all night. Good times.

AngryMan said...

You should have stabbed that ho for upstaging your jello shot prowess.

R.E.H. said...

Happy booty and rallying! Awesome pirate costume, I must say.

You think Timmy there has a bit of a crush on you? That's why he was always around? ;)

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Angryman: i'm a peaceful drunk.

REH: 1st- it's BOOT n rally. 2nd, timmy is definitely gay. i dont have nearly enough cock for him.

RockDog said...

I have never heard this expression...

I shall have to give it a test and see if RockDOg can "boot and rally" with the best of 'em!

Malach the Merciless said...

So when do they remove one of your kidneys? And drunken coconuts rock!

Beach Bum said...

Dear God, I'm having some serious fantasies about you in and out of your pirate costume. I'm sorry, been a bad day and I'm half drunk myself.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I've never tried a Jello shot. I hope to one day. They sound so damn fun.

Nice pics, TM.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Wait a minute. Those dudes are gay? What gives with the gay fellas?

Em said...

The only thing better than drinking yourself silly is drinking yourself silly in costume! I went to a superhero party at Clover's and Bat-Hubs' last year. Everyone wore a cape and a white t-shirt, and was assigned a superhero identity throughout the night. I was the Tequila Devil, defeating everyone with tequila shots! Good times.

Jay said...

I used to think that I was a pretty good drinker until I started reading your blog. Now I think I was a light weight even on my best days.

Never heard the phrase "boot and rally" but I like it.

Not as much as I like that Pirate costume you have on though.

Colonel Colonel said...

I don't think there's ever an inappropriate time to wear a pirate costume.

buffalodickdy said...

Wow! You are in a league by yourself! You may want to apply for my old job- Cruise Director for the Planet Earth!

AngryMan said...

Well, now that you're not drunk, you can go get even with that bitch.

Fortune Cookies said...

Boot N Rally - that's been the theme for my life! You cracked me up "...but they weren’t like pants-on-head-special, more like different-classes-special "
I'm giggling out loud in my cubicle and getting that look...

AngryGinger said...

List of things to do when I get out of the LandLady:
1.) Party with Tequila
2.) Motor Boat her Tits
3.) Drink Bud Lite & eat cake

TED VELVET said...

technically, boot and rally means to keep drinking after you've already puked.
boot=puke
rally=drink.
drinking with a cold is just extra medicine.
drinking when tired is just drinking
feeling sick while drinking is just pre-booting

trust me, I know these things
I'm a drunk

Tink said...

Hey! Your toad pictures are up. :)

Slyde said...

i think that at this point in my life, a boot and rally would kill me...

captain corky said...

Jello shots, Budweiser, shots of vodka, and a Fendi bag and a bad attitude, Thats all I need to get me in a good mood.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Ted: 'boot and rally" is subject to interpretation

Jon said...

I have to second Ted. Boot and Rally is continuing to drink after puking. That's how it's used in Beantown, and I think we know a little something about drinking.

And you shouldn't get accolades for drinking while being sick. You should be ridiculed for not drinking while being sick.

Miss Merry Sunshine said...

I've heard of "Puke N' Rally" it's about the same thing...I definitely neeted to man up last Thurs. that was an embarrassment to all people involved...