Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Thundercats vs. Squid

My sugar-free red bull addiction has me all hyped up this morning, so this post might be a little scattered. First of all, my deepest, darkest fears are coming true. Not too long ago I wrote about how squid scare the bejesus out of me. Now, it seems they have found a 1,089 lb, 26 foot long squid; you laugh now, but when they evolve to have bones in their body and come ashore to fuck you up with their acid-ink, it wont be so funny. So, it’s time to take some action, and eat more calamari.


Second order of business is to attend to this meme that I inadvertently started when asking one of my bizarre questions on a comment on Malach’s blog. “If you could go back in time, and combine your genes with any non-human animal, to create a super race, what would it be and why?” Well, this has already been somewhat done for me by a children’s television show, The Thundercats. I would combine my superior Irish seed with a cheetah, because of their speed and stealth. Unfortunately, they aren't so good adapting to new environments, but as proven when I adapted to a new climate with a move from Florida to MN, my genetics would iron that out. Also, just like cheetahs, I am spotted as well. See what an awesome thundercat Cheetara I make! Not to mention, a Thundercat could totally whip the ass of bony squid...

cheetara

And finally, last night was a sad night at Uptown Old Chicago; it was my favorite waiter James' final night working there. He's moving on to bigger and better things, and I wish him the best of luck, but it's still a sad occurence. Thanks for overlooking my flask action, and forcing me to eat pizza when I'm too drunk. I'll definitely come visit you at your new digs in downtown.

26 comments:

Red Bull said...

YOU LOVE ME. I GIVE YOU WINGS.

TED VELVET said...

I would morph with a butterfly cause I like flowers or maybe I'd be half scorpion and fuck assholes up with my stinger or I could go half electric eel and zap assholes ahead of me on line but I'd probably go half horse just for the extra sized cock

C.Rag said...

THUNDER
THUNDER
THUNDERSCATS
HOOOOOOOOOOOO!

B.E. Earl said...

I think you are missing out on the benefits of a mutated giant squid/human super race. Imagine all the beers, shots and flask action you could have going on when you are bar crawling you way through a Thursday night. It boggles the mind.

And when creepy Negroville guy grabs your ass you can spray him with your acid-ink.

I see it as a win on all counts.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Red Bull: indeed i do. youre like a little can of PCP... keep me going all day long!

ted velvet: i like the scorpion idea. fuck some assholes up!

Earl: hmm it's a good idea... BUuuut, i still have an inherrent distrust of squid. although, acid ink wouldve been helpful saturday night. siiiighs. such a conundrum!

moooooog35 said...

Just think how fast you could bar-hop!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I think I would combine with a pig. Did you know that pigs have 30 minute orgasms??? Yeah, I think a pig would be a good mix!

AngryMan said...

I've been wanting to get it on w/Cheetara for a long, long time. I think Wifey and I have a new role-playing game.

Leighann said...

Scuse me, I think I just drooled on you a little!

harx said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tequila Mockingbird said...

ok, i'll say this folks, i dont like removing comments, but HEY people who know me in real life, you CANT use my whole first name. BIG party foul!

harx said...

Two things:

1) I'm down with more calamari, I'll get started at happy hour toaday

2) sad Tequila-kitty rulez, we should see more of this action figure

harx said...

I'm a bad harx...


I know it...


I probably need a spanking...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

angry: that's hot. send pix.

leighann: thnx. i do what i can.

harx: no prob. just dont do it again, or you get flogged with a bag of dead babies.

Anonymous said...

well, cheetarah did have a nice rack...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Anon: as do i.

R.E.H. said...

And one zexy cheetah too! ;)

I do my share of eliminating the squid population... I love me some fried calamari with rice and sweet'n'sour sauce at the chinese restaurants around here. One of my favorite meals, I tell ya.

Anne Johnson said...

Just bookmarked you, cheetah! More later.

RockDog said...

Thundercats? You mean you aren't the guitar player from Josie and The Pussycats??? They're hot!

Malach the Merciless said...

I changed my mind, I would mate with a squid and then come find you, and film it for youtube.

Seriously though, you must be dreading the rise of Cthulhu.

Mike said...

I think I would morph into a small dog so I could hump hot chicks legs and people would think it was cute.

Now they get all pissy when I start humping their legs.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

REH: never had that at a chinee resteraunt, but i like the concept.

Rockdog: thundercats are way more kickass than josie and the fucking pussycats.

Malach: rise of chthulu does freak me out, but i figure i'll just go into the mountains and hope for the best.

Mike: hot.

lotus07 said...

Normal folks fasination with the antiqated cartoon 'The Thundercats'...scares the b-jesus out of me. I just don't get it. It was a bad cartoon.

Hungry Mother said...

I wish that I had discovered sugarfree Red Bull back when I drank alcohol. I would have abused it to the limit. Now I just abuse it a little.

harx said...

Hungry Mother: uhmmmm... "back when I drank alcohol"

did your liver leave you or something?

Ginormous Boobs said...

Losing a good waiter is like losing your favorite pair of panties...I don't know how...it just is.