Mucho Bacon, A Corset, and Negroville

The weekend was a bit more sedate compared to weekends that have come before. Friday we went to La Fonda, and I was pissed I didn’t get to see the mariachi band. Although, they had the perfect sized margaritas… Tequila Mockingbird size, in fact. After a couple of them, I did not care there was no mariachi band, nor did I care that one of the waitresses had a distracting tractor ass.
Saturday there was some awesome Mall of America shopping that culminated in a corset of “win”. After that we had some afternoon Guinness and watched “The Assassination of Jesse James, By The Coward Robert Ford,” which legitimately sucked balls. It was disjointed, and kept going off on rabbit trails. It reminded me of when my slightly senile Grandfather from the old country would get drunk and try to tell a story. You sort of knew what he was talking about, but overall it was confusing and hard to follow.

That night I ended up at Famous Dave’s where my corset of win got me into a bit of trouble. See, I tend to talk to random people when I drink, especially if there’s something about them that catches my attention. So I go up to this guy, and I’m like “I totally love your jacket, can I get a pic with you?” and he’s like “Sure; you know, I really love your shirt…”

Where is Negroville? I’m still not quite sure… I didn’t see it on a map. Anyway, the weird look on my face is because although you can’t see it, Mr Negroville put his hand on my ass. I was torn between drunken hysterical laughing and wanting to sodomize his eye socket with my elbow. I decided I did not want to go to jail, so I opted for disengaging his hand and scurrying away quickly.

Sunday, Landon and I were too lazy to yell at each other through the walls, so we just texted each other about getting ourselves to the Chinee Buffet. Afterwards we went shopping so he had some decent clothes to wear to his new job (before he had been ok with looking like a boxcar kid). He was actually unemployed for part of this week, and he made the most of his time by doing the following:

• Cooking 2 lbs of bacon (my arteries clogged from just smelling the greasy goodness!)


• Did his taxes (hey, better late than never)


• Pirated more dvd's


• Cleaned out his car, and found his slingshot inside (WTF? What, are you dennis the menace?)

Overall, a good weekend despite the light snowing. Thanks Minnesota... that's what the end of my April reeeeeallly needed!