Wednesday, January 9, 2008

If I Vote For Him, Do I Get An Insulin Discount?

So while looking at coverage of the New Hampshire primaries, that had clips debates and speeches, I noticed something interesting: the people that the contestants had behind them. Yes, I said ‘contestants’ because that IS indeed what they are; the only thing that separates it from a pageant is the lack of swimsuit contest, and maybe that would be a good addition. Anyway, everyone has been going on about Chuck Norris being behind Huckabee in every shot, but what McCain done to balance that is even more hilarious. WILFRED BRIMLEY!

At least with Chuck Norris, Huckabee is trying to get my generation interested (we have an unhealthy preoccupation with
Chuck and his super human abilities). McCain is basically saying he doesn’t give a rats ass if the whippersnappers vote for him. No one my age even knows who the hell Wilfred Brimley is, other than that pompous bastard on the Liberty Medical commercials. The picture we have of him in our minds is him sitting his obese ass upon some poor horse, talking about how he gets his diabetes (he pronounces it DIA-BEAT-US) meds from Liberty Medical.
John McCain WIlfred Brimley


Oh right, he was in the Civil War movies… you know how popular that movie was with my generation; we TIVO-d the shit out of it. How could John McCain think that Wilfred Brimley is his ‘answer to Chuck Norris’? Yeah, that’s like pitting Steve McQueen against Andy Dick. I could understand if John McCain had McGuyver, at least he’s pretty kickass and my generation could relate to him (if he can build a bomb with a paperclip, stick of chewing gum, and cigarette filter, he could save the campaign with his mullet and smooth fragment sentences). As it is, if I was a republican (perish the thought!) I would vote for Huckabee JUST BECAUSE of Chuck Norris. My generation is superficial like that.

Whoever told John McCain Wilfred Brimley was a good idea must have not checked into popular culture since 1960, but even then, was he EVER a sensation among the youth? If I was 80, then this would totally get me on board with the McCain campaign. As it is, this is the political turn-on equivalent of genital warts for anyone under 40.

29 comments:

[Un]Censored said...

Hurry, spike his coffee with 1/2 a bag of sugar!!!

*snicker*

Popped your comment cherry :P

Landon said...

What are you talking about?! I love Wilfred Brimley, he used to do the Quaker Oatmeal commercials! Of course we were too poor to afford Quaker Oatmeal so my mom just fed us mashed up styrofoam peanuts that people were disposing of. I guess that explains why my colon acts the way it does...

harx said...

None of them give a rat's ass about our generation anyway, we don't vote.

Jay said...

If I ran for office I would have a bunch of porn stars stand behind me while I was speaking. I know that nobody would really be listening to me, but that would fine cause I would just be bullshitting them anyway. I wan to give the people something to look at ya know.

I would also have cheerleaders. I think people like cheerleaders. Oh and free lap dances for both women and men at all my rallies. I think I would draw big crowds.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

VOTE FOR JAY!!! Oh wait, he's not running is he? You know Brimley could probably kick Chuck Norris's ass, I think he's a crafty little bastard.

Mike said...

Wilfred Brimley has been 80 since the day he was born. Maybe McCain wanted to appeal to the terminally old.

Atlas Cerise said...

Wilfred has done a lot for Ewok-Human relations. Gotta give him credit for that. Well, I'm off to eat some oatmeal.

C.Rag said...

I don't know what you are talking about. Willyfreddy is so hot.

I would vote for anyone who has his support.

Leighann said...

Wilfred Brimley is as warm and inviting as a greasy pedophile!

Good luck Mr. McCaine

Sara Sue said...

I'm terminally old and Wilfred doesn't appeal to me one bit. The oddest thing about him is he looks just like my dad did right before he died.

Midleah said...

Wow. I could have SWORN that old fart had died.

Hammer said...

Since the majority of Americans are age 48 and older Brimley might not be a bad choice.

Wasn't he in cocoon?

moooooog35 said...

Didn't notice Wilfred.

I was checking out his double-cougar wife (extra points because she's LOADED by the way) and her daughter.

Wilfred Brimley.

Great...now I want oatmeal.

Sarah said...

As landon pointed out...his oatmeal endorsement sold me as a kid...especially after adding two cups of brown sugar to it...that's how he draws you in; hooks you on sugared oats and the next thing you know your shooting insulin.

Hungry Mother said...

We geezers really liked "Cocoon", OK?

Buzzardbilly said...

I'm just in awe that someone actually got paid to poorly photoshop Wilfred fucking Brimley. Good God! Couldn't they find one interesting cat picture to put a pithy misspelled campaign message on?

Now I wish Liberty Medical would send that poor sway-backed horse that Wilfred rode some Quaker Oats. I just hope Chuck Norris doesn't steal them.

PS. I don't think McCain could use MacGuyver because MacGuyver would've busted out of that POW camp.

captain corky said...

LOL! I don't know... I watch a lot of TV Land, and they show plenty of Liberty Mutual commercials.

Hi, I'm Captain Corky and...

Real Live Lesbian said...

I'm voting for Jay.

Didn't Wilford have a TV show for a while...yes, I'm old.

TED VELVET said...

tippy canoe and Brimley too. When mcCain was being tortured at the hanoi Hilton he had lot's of time to think about nothing but a big, heaping serving Brimley. mmmmmmmmm so sweet and diabetic.

Malach the Merciless said...

Wilfred is a freak

katie said...

i think i may be the only republican in the blogosphere. oh, tequila. will you still love me tomorrroooooooooooooow!!!!!!!? *that was meant to be sung*,wait you're very young you may not be awares of that song.

anyhoo, your take on all this rocks my world. i actually don't give a flying rip about any politics but i do enjoy reading your commentary!

billymac said...

wait a second... we can vote?

Simply Curious said...

If I have to look at McCain or Wilfred in a swimsuit, I'm moving to Canada.

Sparkling Red said...

I live in Canada, and believe me the news is forever full of U.S. election stories. When you're a mouse living with an elephant, you keep an eye on the elephant. Etc.

I read this post yesterday afternoon. All evening and again when I woke up this morning, the picture of Brimley's eyeless face, threatening to give me DIABETUS, kept appearing in my mind's eye, unbidden. I laugh, but I'm also slightly terrified.

AngryMan said...

Don't get Wilford Brimley angry!

Beach Bum said...

McCain may be counting on Brimley's alien connections from his movie Cocoon. I'm waiting to see which political candidate
Stallone stands behind and the setup for a death match between him and Norris.

FOUR DINNERS said...

I've heard of Steve McQueen and Chuck Norris but apart from that I haven't a clue what's goin' on.

....no change there then

Colonel Colonel said...

Big Mistake for McCain. Chuck Norris will rip Wilfred Brimley's head off and use his spine for a toothpick.


Which would be fine with me, actually. I can't wait to see the video on You-Tube.

A Girl, A Boy, and Me said...

HA! I'm old - I remember he played a grandfather on some divorced mom tv drama...And I too thought he was dead.