One of the reasons I like HBO programming is because of the copious nudity. Even if the show sucks, there ARE naked people (unless it is in this case, then it is just troubling) to make my investment of time pay off. Anyway, one of my favorite shows is Cathouse, which is about a whore house in Las Vegas. Half the time, the best part of the show is the comedic value.
For example, there is this horny, tattooed midget. Anyone who reads this blog on any semi-regular basis, knows of my affection for them, and my aspirations to wrestle one in lime jello (hell, do a search, about 6 posts will pop up). I love that they are catering to every fancy at that whore house; it’s really the embodiment of the American dream, all of that equal opportunity action. Although, they definitely need to let this one prosty go, she has more bags under her eyes than in all of JFK airport. Unless some sickass wants to fuck the wrinkles under her eyes, I think she is pretty much tapped out in the whore dept. For her, it’s time to hang up the hooker boots and marry one of her less skeezy johns or go to tech. college to learn how to do acrylic nails.
Most of the guys that go to the Cathouse are going there to do the things and get the things done to them their wife won’t do. One guy was especially creative, and made up his own game. He got three hookers to play a ring toss game with rings of varying size around his wang (listen up ladies, if your bow-chicka-bow-wow is stale in the sack, maybe making it more like an Olympic sport could fix that). Hell, it was impressive that he got three hookers, but I guess if you’re going to pay for ass, it might as well be out of the ordinary. It reminds me of the story I heard about David Lee Roth, when he went on David Letterman after getting caught with 5 hookers. He said something to the effect of: “Between you and me, I would’ve probably only screwed the one, while the others played cards in the corner. It’s pathetic when someone hears about you being with a prostitute, but when it’s 5 prostitutes, it’s impressive… Like, hey, that guy’s cool!”
Rating high on the 'not cool' scale, is the “Cathouse Musical” they have been pimping out. Seems like a really bad idea. There are enough “dumb whores” doing musicals without having actual dumb whores prancing around on stage covered in sequins and feathers. Hey, how about stopping the goddamn singing and take off your clothes. I don’t go to an accountant to hear them sing; no, they are providing me a service. Know your role.