Monday, January 14, 2008

Singing Whores

One of the reasons I like HBO programming is because of the copious nudity. Even if the show sucks, there ARE naked people (unless it is in this case, then it is just troubling) to make my investment of time pay off. Anyway, one of my favorite shows is Cathouse, which is about a whore house in Las Vegas. Half the time, the best part of the show is the comedic value.
cathouse

For example, there is this horny, tattooed midget. Anyone who reads this blog on any semi-regular basis, knows of my affection for them, and my aspirations to wrestle one in lime jello (hell, do a search, about 6 posts will pop up). I love that they are catering to every fancy at that whore house; it’s really the embodiment of the American dream, all of that equal opportunity action. Although, they definitely need to let this one prosty go, she has more bags under her eyes than in all of JFK airport. Unless some sickass wants to fuck the wrinkles under her eyes, I think she is pretty much tapped out in the whore dept. For her, it’s time to hang up the hooker boots and marry one of her less skeezy johns or go to tech. college to learn how to do acrylic nails.

Most of the guys that go to the Cathouse are going there to do the things and get the things done to them their wife won’t do. One guy was especially creative, and made up his own game. He got three hookers to play a ring toss game with rings of varying size around his wang (listen up ladies, if your bow-chicka-bow-wow is stale in the sack, maybe making it more like an Olympic sport could fix that). Hell, it was impressive that he got three hookers, but I guess if you’re going to pay for ass, it might as well be out of the ordinary. It reminds me of the story I heard about David Lee Roth, when he went on David Letterman after getting caught with 5 hookers. He said something to the effect of: “Between you and me, I would’ve probably only screwed the one, while the others played cards in the corner. It’s pathetic when someone hears about you being with a prostitute, but when it’s 5 prostitutes, it’s impressive… Like, hey, that guy’s cool!”

Rating high on the 'not cool' scale, is the “Cathouse Musical” they have been pimping out. Seems like a really bad idea. There are enough “dumb whores” doing musicals without having actual dumb whores prancing around on stage covered in sequins and feathers. Hey, how about stopping the goddamn singing and take off your clothes. I don’t go to an accountant to hear them sing; no, they are providing me a service. Know your role.

35 comments:

TED VELVET said...

if I want to hear whores sing I'll listen to madonna,Britney, Christina, Mariah, etc and David lee Roth knows all.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

HBO has a show about a whore house? I'm calling my cable company now. I love's me a midget with tattoo's.

RockDog said...

Roth is a KING! All hail him! These women seem to be a step or two above the brothel women I've seen in the past. Hell, I'd pay $25 for one of these! LOL

Note to self: Must watch more HBO...

Doc said...

Excellent commentary! I must check this show out... Glad that I ounf your blog... I must come back an visit.


Psst - I love freckles

Jay said...

I really need to just give up eating on Tuesdays so I can get premium cable. Between this show and "Tell Me You Love Me" I'm missing out on all the good nudity.

Even the sites that (illegally) host all those movies and TV shows don't seem to have the good HBO shows. It's very frustrating.

Landon said...

Out of all the whores, I think I would only do the one in the top right corner, she's hot.

The rest of the old bitches can bake me some cookies while I'm fucking.

harx said...

yay whores! My kinda post! But where are the b00b1ez!?!?!?!?!

buffalodickdy said...

Actresses that probably became whores to get the part of playing a fake whore... I gotta think about this one...

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Sounds interesting!

Good thing we don't have HBO or I'd never get my boys to do their school work.

Leighann said...

You'll hate me for this but I actually made a point to stay up LATE so I could watch this!

It was like a train wreck, I couldn't change the channel no matter how hard I tried!

In summary.... it sucked! But what do you expect from whores?

Colonel Colonel said...

Is this the sort of show that will, um, "hook" a viewer?

sorry, it had to be said...

Tink said...

People PAY to have sex with those... things? Cause they're not the hottest cats I've ever seen. In fact, that one looks like a dude in drag. Blech.

Mike said...

I love Cathouse but have to question the wisdom of allowing myself to be taped. I mean allowing yourself to be taped. That's what I meant. Really.

R.E.H. said...

LMAO at the ring toss game... some people have the weirdest sexual desires.

Makes me think of some old documentary about street hookers I once saw...

*if you're squeamish you should not read the following*

...one dude wanted the whore to sandpaper his cock 'til it was bleeding!

OUCH!

Malach the Merciless said...

Best Little Whorehouse is Nevada

billymac said...

I saw this show for about 5 minutes, I could take no more pain. Full disclosure, if there was any nudity, I would have held on for longer.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

I didn't have HBO at home until recently. Whenever I traveled for work I always looked forward to Real Sex and G-String Divas. Never saw Cathouse though.
The musical made me think of a strip club in Florida. They passed some ordinance about stripping that was going to close down a bunch of strip clubs in a town outside Orlando. There was an exception if the nudity was part of a stage play. So this club started staging Shakespere plays with their strippers in the roles...nude. Classic.

Chuck said...

You're not referring to the beautiful and talented Airforce Amy now are you? Now that I think about it she does look like her better whore days are in the past!

The shows on Showtime have some decent nudity in them too. Uh, hello? How about The Tudors. Ain't nothing better than some early sixteenth century T&A!

katie said...

i so gotta try the ring tossing wang game!! that could be just the ticket to spicing up my marriage. oh, Tequila! forget marriage counseling! i'm coming to your hot ass for help from now on. everybody wang chung tonite!!!

Samantha_K said...

David Lee Roth is so right. I mean, who wants to hear about the night I did Johnny Depp?

Well, everyone.

But they'd probably think it was more fun if I told the story about the time I did half the Nascar garage. The hot half. Dale Jr, Kasey Kahne and the like.

Definitely more impressive.
It's like they say, go big or go home.

Buzzardbilly said...

A couple I once knew but wished I didn't went to see Van Halen back in the Roth heyday. They found out they were staying in the same hotel when the elevator doors opened up and inside were Roth and a bevy of poorly dressed concert whore wannabes.

Roth asked says, "Hey, you wanna join the party, come on in." Let the wife on. When the husband went to step in, Roth stopped him and away they went.

She ended up riding elevator straight back down to hubby, but man was he pissed. He was the Roth fan, with was being the operative word in that sentence.

Sparkling Red said...

With all the weird fetishes out there [see r.e.h., above], I'd be surprised if there weren't at least a handful of people who think eyebags are sizzlin' hot.

I'm sure there's a website, maybe even a print mag. "Experience the soft, puffy folds of eye-baggy pleasure!" Yup, that's turning someone's crank, I'll bet.

Karen said...

I saw the musical. It was horrific (or whore-ific). But in general I do enjoy the show. It is certainly interesting.

minijonb said...

Cathouse is hilarious! i've only seen a couple of episodes. i need to watch more of it!

Beach Bum said...

The pecker ring toss reminds me of something I saw on the TV version of the Howard Stern show as I was channel surfing very late on Friday night. Howard had two naked ladies setup to look like they we going to do it doggie style. After inserting two very lubed sticks into the asses of each lady they went about doing a ring toss. Even with the more interesting areas fuzzied out I watched the entire show.

As for nudity, I'm hooked on youporn.

Sara Sue said...

This is almost enough to make me want to watch t.v. again ... almost!

Sara Sue said...

Oh and just as an FYI for your readers ... Dale Jr. is gay.

Hammer said...

At least those whores are honest about it. It's still bizzare though :)

Roger said...

Very nice post! & thanks for visiting Idaho Daily Photo!!

Matt-Man said...

There's a hooker around my town that I hire once in awhile. If I pay her extra she will take her glass eye out and let me give her, shall we say, a facial.

And one more thing, Bea Arthur is HAWT. Cheers!!

captain corky said...

Cathouse is some good shit. Those girls make a lot of money. Except for the 40 percent they have to pay the house. That's gotta suck.

C.Rag said...

I just like Whores. Singing ones cost extra.

FOUR DINNERS said...

which bit of them sings?

~Fathairybastard~ said...

That is one of the shows that tempts me to get HBO, but it hasn't worked just yet. If they hadn't axed Deadwood I might have bitten. I guess I should. Hell, it's only money.

And thanks for comin' by my place.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'm a huge fan of HBO programming. Great writers, great acting and directing, great SHOWS!