Wednesday, January 23, 2008

What I Will Admit To

I’ll admit we started pre-drinking with a box of wine (hey, the two dollar rails at Old Chicago didn’t start until 10). I’ll admit that even though it was more expensive than Franzia (it was totally top-shelf!!!), it is still wine in a box and therefore NOT CLASSY. I’ll admit we pre-drank more than we should have because we were walking. I’ll admit right away, karaoke is not my friend (there are many things I do very well, singing is NOT one of them).
Box of wine


ll admit that there are different kinds of people who do karaoke. There is the drunken frat boys that sing hilarious songs to entertain their friends (last night, my favorite was the “humpty hump”). There is the fat girl singing love songs to her gay best friend. I’ll admit that even sadder than that, is the people who arrive at 6 and drink diet coke all night, hoping that some record producer will see them and offer them a 7 million dollar contract. The people who run karaoke at Old Chicago are those kind, singing with their whole hearts, to drown out the pain of failure.

I’ll admit to heckling the guy who looked like he had F.B.A. that sang “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, but not the hot chick singing “Let’s Give Them Something To Talk About” (oh, and did I want to give her something to talk about!!). I’ll admit that I let Landon talk me into signing up to sing, even though I have NO business singing anywhere but in the car (and even then sometimes I need to crank up the volume so I can’t hear myself). I’ll admit that by the time they got to me, I was solidly wasted (hey, it was like an hour and two drinks more). I’ll admit that
my choice in song was horrible, and I chose it because Calvin Crustitron and I had heard it on the way to lunch earlier that day and it was stuck in my head (I should’ve went with DIO, because at least I could scream it and sound moderately better). I’ll admit I was not surprised when Landon reneged on coming up there to be my backup dancer. I’ll admit that partially through the song I’m like “ok, I’m not singing this part” and kept to the chorus.

I’ll admit to not feeling so well this morning. I’ll admit to not looking as hot at work. I’ll admit to wearing cleavage to offset my ickyness. I’ll admit that I will probably still sing karaoke again.

24 comments:

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Did somebody say Cleavage??!! I don't care if I was drunk out of my mind I don't think anything could get me to sing in front of people. Way to go!!

Jay said...

And I'll admit that a video of you singing karaoke would be the single greatest thing in the history of blogs. ;-)

"pre-drinking?" That's a professional drinker talking right there! haha

Leighann said...

Rock on you karaoke queen!

C.Rag said...

I have friend who always carries a box of wine with he no matter where she's going...she's going to be a great attorney.

harx said...

I love how they measure booze in the metric system now, because '5 liters' of wine is so much classier than 'a gallon' of wine.

AngryMan said...

I admit to this post being fucking awesome! CAN I GET AN "AMEN!"?

Chuck said...

I'll admit that this post has made me want to get out and party down at a karaoke bar sometime soon! I just wish I had someone who would go with me and make an ass of themselves too.

moooooog35 said...

I used to go to a Chinese restaurant that did Karaoke, and there was ALWAYS one guy who resembled the little guy who got electrocuted in "The Green Mile" who always sang, like, four times a night.

The problem was that he always sang that f*cking song, "Daniel" by Elton John EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Made you want to stick a spoon in your eye.

I did it once and sang "The Boys are Back in Town" while I was really hammered. I didn't look at the words once.

When I got to what I THOUGHT was the end of the song, I glanced down and realized that I was nowhere near singing the verse I thought I was.

At this point, I dropped the mic and sat the f*ck down...

...where I should have been in the first place.

Maybe I should have sang "Daniel."

billymac said...

hilarious...

my favorite karaoke movie moment is when the chick in Grandma's Boy was karaoke-ing to Salt-n-peppa's Push it and fell on her ass when she tried to lick her own nipples.... now that is classy.

buffalodickdy said...

We call Karaoke "Croak me"- Once, I encouraged an entire bar to come on stage if they had never sang Karaoke before. It looked like an altar call, and everyone in that room could go home saying they sang! That's my talent- not singing, but convincing people to try living..

Mike said...

I don't do Karaoke, but I have done a box of wine or two in my lifetime.

Oh, and in the future, please put the word "cleavage" earlier in the post so that I don't have to go through the whole thing to find the cleavage.

Tink said...

The one and only time I ever sang karaoke (I was also drunk), I mumbled most of the words and then dropped the mic. The crowd actually boo'd me! LOL.

Phoebe Fay said...

Box wine is evil. So is karaoke.

The two combined... well, missy, all I can say is you're just lucky you didn't trigger the apocalypse. It's been known to happen.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

I'll admit that I fuckin' hate karaoke.

katie said...

girl, i'm proud of ya. keep on doing that kareokee. but next time you gotta pick a better song. like some debbie gibson or new kids. damn, girl. you could rocked it hard core on Electric Youth. and wear that cleavage proudly!!! woohoooooooooo!

TED VELVET said...

my friend has the best karaoke theory, just find a song by cake cause the guy just basically talks. There's nothing worse than karaoke "group" which usually consists of 3 or 4 jerky girlfreinds who think they're funny and of course aren't, getting into a semi circle and singing some tired old man hating song like, "I will survive"
That's when I reach for my revolver.
sadly, that's a song, not on many karaoke lists

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Jay: Landon said the same thing last night... i'll work on it.
and yeah, pre-drinking is more economical than anything.

c.rag: that's the great part of wine in a box.. it's portability!

Harx: kind of like when they have a "yard of meat" at costco.

Angry: hallelujah!

Mike said...

I'll admit to getting drunk and singing nothing but Tom Jones.

Sick.

Malach the Merciless said...

I love Karoke, listen to the end of every Murk and Malach Podcast

Simply Curious said...

I'll admit the this post made me smile the whole time.

I'll also admit that this comment doesn't sound original because everyone else has already admitted shit.

I bet you looked hot up there.

Scott said...

Hahaha! You have an awesome blog! I followed a comment on Ambulance Driver's blog, and now I see you need to be on my blogroll.

Hungry Mother said...

Amen!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'd kill for your social life, TM.

And I'll bet you're a better singer than you let on.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

I kick ass on Karaoke!

You and I should so do a duet sometime.