My Aunt came to visit me from Florida before I departed to the land of the poor cholesterol. Auntie Cougar traveled in typical McMockingbird form (her maiden name was McMockingbird), with a some valium and a few of those little airplane skyy vodkas. So when I picked her up from the airport, she already had a fair amount of Giftmas spirit(s). It was the afternoon, so once she got settled and had a bit of a nap, she was ready to tie one on. I learned that because Belvedere vodka is so smooth, there is no need for a mixer and/or chaser, because one can just do shots of it.
We went bar hopping with The Novice and Landon. I feel the need to point out that my Aunt doesn't look like the average aunt. In fact, she looks exactly like me (big curly hair, big tits etc...In part II of the Auntie Cougar Adventures, I'll try to include a pic), except she is older and smells mentholy-fresh. She is just as loud, rowdy and can drink me under the table. Needless to say, Landon and The Novice were pleased to have double the McMockingbird trouble that night.
Auntie Cougar almost got in a fight with the bartender because he didn't put enough Crown Royal in her drink, and then refused to remake it. Luckily, there was this dude in the army that started buying us shots (red headed sluts amd washington apples). I think that is what got me into trouble. The Novice and Landon have been out drinking with me a whole helluva lot but have never seen me get sick (granted I've been close...), but with Auntie Cougar around I reeeeallly pushed myself to the limit. Next thing I know, we have left the bar, and I'm puking into a snowbank. Hot. We go to the Uptown Diner to try to get something to soak it up, and I get sick in the bathroom. They tell us we need to leave because it's their "policy". Fuck you and your goddamn policy, it's not like I made a mess ( Random Note: I have fantastic aim when it comes to puking). Ridiculous.
Anyway, here is the final and 12th drink of Giftmas. Yes, I know I'm late, but for me, the holiday season hasn't ended yet, so I'm actually within an acceptable time range.
- 3 oz of Champagne, chilled (I recommend Korbel, it's a nice middle of the road champagne)
- 3 oz. Cranberry Juice
- 1 oz. Triple Sec
Serve in a highball glass, garnish with orange slice