Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Beer and Bears

I’m not a football fan, mostly because it’s just not violent enough. Anyway, I went to a football party last night, mostly because it’s a party and it seemed like a quality way to spend my Monday night. It was the Vikings vs. Da Bears, and frankly I was more interested in the jello shots. I don’t normally drink beer, but Leinenkugal’s creamy dark tastes like a goddamn truffle, so I threw down the shackles of my usual mixed drinks in favor of it.

My friends that hosted it are some of the most awesome people I know, and even if they hadn’t got me the most fanfuckingtastic present ever, this would be true. Some background on them, they are both atheists, but celebrate solstice. They don’t buy presents for everyone, just if they see something that ‘speaks’ to them about a person. When they saw a cell phone flask, they immediately thought of me (it does scream Tequila Mockingbird). This sweet little 6 oz cherry of a flask, even has a belt clip!
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I heard a disturbing story from a couple that lives on an Alpaca farm. Either they hadn’t told this story at the last party I seen them at, or I was too trashed to remember, but on their farm they have a cow, and they had to castrate it. I don’t even have testicles, and I was squirming around in my chair uncomfortably. Luckily, my socks offered some levity. Being that I was solidly the youngest one there, everyone else was at least over 35, I can say with some assuredness, no one else had striped frog toe socks.
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I bring you to #8 of my boozetastic 12 drinks of Giftmas.


Black Santa
  • 3/4 oz of Coffee Liqueur (normally I go for Kahlua, but if you're planning on being up all night rockin' around the Giftmas tree, use Starbucks coffee liqueur)
  • 1/4 oz Peppermint Schnapps
  • 1/2 oz of Vodka

Pour Vodka and Kahlua into an old-fashioned glass filled with ice cubes. Add peppermint schnapps and DRINK UP!

30 comments:

Jay said...

Those are the coolest socks I've ever seen!

I used to have a flask that looked like binoculars. I think my dad too it to football games. LOL ;-)

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I was having a good time with the post until the castration thing. Ouch...

Mike said...

I love a post that goes from cell phone flasks to castration to toe socks all in one fluid motion.

TED VELVET said...

awesome flask. I wish ihad such friends mine send me chia homer head

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Jay: thanks. i dont wear white "normal" socks ever. those are my newest socks i've added to the collection, and they do rock. i have no need to carry binoculars, but the cell will come in handy in my stealth drinking escapades.

Ron: imagine how i felt, being drunk and trying to concentrate on cheerleaders, and this is brought up.

Mike: i am the barry sanders of word flow.

Ted: HAHAHAHA chichichia.

harx said...

sweet flask, Oracle Dave foresees you consuming large quantities of booze in the near future.

Buzzardbilly said...

Nice flask. It'll be like having booze in a holster. LOL

moooooog35 said...

It would be great to be stopped by the cops with that for DUI, then try to use it at the station for your one phone call.

OK...maybe not great...but would be funny if you were one of the cops.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Harx: such a wise oracle.

Buzzard: agreed, very handy.

Moog: that's about as funny as a kick in the cooch.

pissed off patricia said...

Cool little flask, it could also serve as a wee martini shaker. Shake and tank

Landon said...

WHAT?! I thought you had webbed toes!!!

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Those socks are fucking awesome!!!!!!

I think they may even top some of the weird ones I have.

Beach Bum said...

Cell phone flasks, now that is something I could really use. I could sneak a drink anywhere, until some bonehead asked me for my cell number.

Phoebe Fay said...

Hey, what's with the ageism?! I'm 41, and I own a pair of striped toe socks. Blue and green - not so Christmasy as yours. But still... Harumph.

LOVE the flask!

Hungry Mother said...

No, but I have these.

billymac said...

my favorite flask memory was sitting in the back of a church with my buddies passing a flask of scotch under the choir book... definetly the only way to do church.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

POP: awesome. i didn't think about that. i will try it and let you know how it works out.

Landon: no. although, i know your penchant for toe-jobs, so i understand your confusion and wishful thinking.

Prepon: whip em out!

BEach: i wouldnt confuse them. my cell is a lot lighter and thinner than flask cell phone.

Pheobe: sorry, i guess they weren't as cool as you. you should know i have no problem with the mature crowd. id still take a run at you!

Hungry: that's fucking hot. i'm sure Landon will be beating down your door for a toe job now.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Damn, you even have nice feet.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'm falling in love with this blog.

BTW, that IS the best damn present. Six ounces of hooch conveniently disguised as a cell phone. Genius.

Malach the Merciless said...

My wife has sock similar and she is 33

Kevin said...

I agree wiht Jat, the first commenter. Those socks ARE great!

Further on up the road said...

Hey the story about castrating and cow. That's just BULL

katie said...

You're blog is awesome. I lurk around here like a freak and now it's time to come out da shadows!! Love the socks!! Cheers. :)

R.E.H. said...

Aw, those socks are so cute they make me wanna rip them off your feet and give you a good toe-sucking.

You do wash your feet religiously, right? ;)

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