Tuesday, September 11, 2007

friends don't let friends wear "princess" shirts...

there are many reasons why women should not be wearing these princess shirts... for starters, they aren't exactly the pinnacle of fashion, they barely were acceptable 7 years ago; these little pink shirts with "princess" emblazoned on them were originally meant for a 5 year old. there is so much wrong with the usual people i see wearing them.

for example, yesterday in Chicago lake liquor (WTF is up with that place? it was on the way to my friends house from my house in uptown and stopped at that fucking shithole... there was a passed out bum in the parking lot, some guy selling pirated DVD's outside, and an armed cop inside)... anyway so I'm standing behind this woman with two inches of black roots showing in her ratty Dixie bitch blond hair, and she's wearing this bubble gum pink shirt with "princess" spelled out in rhinestones, waiting to pay for her box of wine (the epitome of class, of course). pumpkin, in case you missed the memo, you are NO one's princess... you look like you've been through two divorces, easily in your mid-40's, probably a bankruptcy, and because your goddamn shirt is too short, i can see your C section scar hanging out of the bottom, so that means you must have popped out at least one kid. oh, and FYI, you smell like cat piss and stale cigarettes.

if she had obviously been a prostitute (par for the neighborhood), i could totally understand the lapse in judgement, because once you get to that point, who cares anymore about dignity and appearances? but despite being legitimate white trash and being one of those bottom of the barrel, used up stripper types, she *probably* (i can't say this with full confidence, of course) wouldn't have sold herself.
so folks, point is... unless you are under the age of 10 (and that might even be pushing it) or a prosty only concerned about not getting a beat down and the HIV, wearing a "princess" shirt is unacceptable!

4 comments:

Arthur Fonzarelli said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Arthur Fonzarelli said...

Look at that...it works! I typed up a long response about Chicago Lake Lickers yesterday, only to submit it and be told that your blog may have violated the TOS and therefore my comment wouldn't be immidiately posted. It said nothing about my comment being flushed immediately down the toilet.

The short version: when I lived a block of Lyndale I'd occasaionally go to CLL, often simply for the thrill of living dangerously. They always had a cop on duty inside the store then, too. Most of my visits were slightly colorful, but otherwise uneventful. The most memorable trip was when a dude hit me up for a buck, inside the store. I thought you were supposed to do your panhandling outside. I should have made a scene, but I bet I'd have cashed my check for a parking lot beatdown at that point. I didn't have change for $20, so i said I would when I had change, assuming he'd just go away.

Next thing I know he's in line behind me, holding a bottle of malt liquor and expecting I'd simply pay for it. I gave him a buck and chalked the experience up to cheap entertainment.

The Valley of the Dolls said...

but they do let them wear princess tiaras!

Blogger said...

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