I was watching “Last Comic Standing” last night (they really know how to make 30 min AT BEST of comedy stretch into two hours...) and I saw Carrot Top once again. I had seen him on Flava Flavs roast a month back, and was instantly seized with a "WHAAAAT THHHHHE FUUUUUUUUCK?!" seizure. He was rippling with muscles, practically leaking out botox, and wearing more eyeliner than a 14 year old gothic girl. The muscles are obviously not natural, and a product of steroids… ok, I get that part because everyone always picks on him, so why not bulk up so he can beat some ass if someone tries to mug him at the Flava Flav roast?
What totally befuddled me was the botox. Generally, when I think of people prone to use botox, it’s ladies growing older that try to recapture their youth and stay in the spotlight. Granted, he is 42, but he’s not a woman (made even more obvious by his unnatural muscles and rope-like veins in his neck) and he was never REALLY a star. Even when they introduced him last night it wasn’t as the ‘famous star of comedy Carrot Top’… no, it was as ‘the recognizable comedian Carrot Top’; there is a vast difference between being a recognizable comic or a hilariously funny comic. What exactly is Carrot Top trying to hold onto with the botox? He wasn’t exactly a ‘pretty boy’. No amount of black eyeliner would change that.
I better not say anymore, because with all those steroids he’s taking, if I piss him off he might go ‘roid rage on me and beat me to death with one of his props.