Sunday, September 30, 2007

My Motorcycle Cherry is Now Broken!

For all of the crazy shit I've done, I had never been on a motorcycle. Lame, I know, but I had never actually cared that much. Actually, I was pretty sure you had to be a meth addict to even ride one, but I found out that was false on Friday night.

I think my friend only really wanted to get me on it so my boobs would be pressed against him, which is reasonable and acceptable. Anyway, I figured I'm the ripe old age of 23, I should get at least one motorcycle ride under my belt. I really wanted to flip off the other bikers, but I was informed that would be a BAD idea. I guess I am not that hardcore.

The vibrations made me a big fan, but to thoroughly enjoy it I would probably need to ride it alone. Overall, it was a good experience, but I wouldn't be a good candidate for owning one mainly because of my excessive drinking. I think vomiting while on a bike would be pretty ass-nasty, as it would fly back into my face and burn my eyes with it's extreme alcohol content. Also, with my penchant for hitting pedestrians (especially hobos), I need a bigger automobile than just a crotch rocket.

17 comments:

Mike said...

Motorcycle + Alcohol = Always a bad idea.

Phoebe Fay said...

Yeah, plus it's much harder to hit the peds with a bike without getting hurt yourself. For peds, I'd recommend a '70s-era Cadillac Eldorada. The bump they make won't even register within the vehicle. And try to sideswipe 'em. It's tough getting all the incriminating bits of blood and flesh out of the grill.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

mike & pheobe: agreed.

Colonel Colonel said...

on the other hand...

motorcycles are more manueverable than cars, so you can more easily hit the ones that try to get away.

Joey Polanski said...

So you lost yer cherry to a hog, huh?

Preposterous Ponderings said...

The vibrations are enough to make any woman a fan of motorcycle riding.

Pope Benedict XVI said...

Soon de pope will post a pic of his Motorcycle, yes, yes.

Malach the Merciless said...

Malach has never been on a motorcycle

Sara Sue said...

Mind if I ask what kind of bike?

TED VELVET said...

I wrecked a guy's motorcycle once, Then he blew his head off with a shotgun. it was six years after I wrecked his bike but I always felt it was my fault.

C.Rag said...

There was horrible soft porn flick I saw once that took place at a Swedish boarding school. The hot students played a "trick" on their teacher by tooling with her bicycle. They put a dildo underneath the seat so when she pedaled it went up & down. It was so bad that it was entertaining. I've often thought that it would be a good idea in other modes of transportation.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

colonel: very true... however, i dont want to hit hobos THAT bad to risk MY safety.

joey: hmm, i think you are confused. i lost my MOTORCYCLE cherry. i'm not sure what kind of barnyard adventures YOU have been having, but that's not my brand of vodka.

Prepon: totally agreed.

pope: HOT! i cant wait to see you in your motorcycle helmet!

malach: maybe the pope will give you a ride on his.

Sara: harley road king.

Ted: because it WAS your fault. tsk tsk.

c.rag: once again, you leave the most bizarre/hot comments. sometimes the best ideas come from bad cheesy pornz.

moooooog35 said...

You're awesome - I added your site as a link on my own.

Thanks in advance for returning the favor.

;-)

You've never experienced the thrill of a motorcycle ride until you've dealt with road produce. You know what I mean if you read my own motorcycle dealing with death:

http://midgetmanofsteel.blogspot.com/2007/09/road-droppings.html

As usualy - funny stuff. But stick to the cars, please...

Moooooog35
http://midgetmanofsteel.blogspot.com

moooooog35 said...

Holy crap - just saw C.Rag's comment.

I've seen that porn. OLD Cinemax...back in the day.

If I remember correctly, Santa was in it, too.

Moooooog35
http://midgetmanofsteel.blogspot.com

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