you aren't fooling anyone...

everyone just needs to stop with the fire decals on their car. hey, guy in your 40's with a receding hair line and short sleeved collared shirt, on your way home from shitty job selling used appliances, no matter how bad ass you think those fire decals look on your aerostar minivan you are mistaken.

I am on my way home from work, i do not want to flirt with you, i want to have a drink, so stop fucking winking, and give up revving your engine next to me at the stop light. this is not indy 500, we are NOT going to race. flames will NOT make your car go faster (yes the guy at checkers auto parts WAS lying to you); my little mazda would (and does) take you, so fucking stay on point, and take your lame ass to your kids soccer game in your douchebag-mobile. also, raising your eyebrows in a suggestive way only suggests to me that i should throw the rotting bag of mcdonalds that is a week or so old at your car.

while i am on the subject of retarded things to do to one's car, FINS! WTF?! nothing makes you look more like an asian drug dealer (other than removed muffler and dragon decals maybe, but they are a close second) than a goddamn fin. it's like rolling probable cause for the law to stop and search your poor taste on wheels. i saw a ford probe with a fin the other day and almost wrecked my car with my peals of laughter that shook me from within.