Thursday, September 6, 2007

your nursing home of choice...

ok, so i work in a facet of the housing industry. today i just came across the name of a senior citizens community called "labor retreat". WTF were they thinking when they named this place? would you want to send your grandma to a retirement community with 'labor' in the title? HELL NO! what are they making them do? is it like a sweat shop with all the blue hairs crocheting and quilting until their fingers bleed? the orderlies refusing to give them their Metamucil or prunes if they aren't productive enough? fuck, i am in my 20's and i don't want to 'retreat' ANYWHERE with labor in the name, i can only imagine when the arthritis sets in and i have a plastic hip.... usually, when i think retreat, i am thinking relaxing, maybe some pool side activities with a cocktail involved, but when i hear labor that idea goes out the window as i start to picture geezers tilling away at a tomato garden to earn just a bit of free time to get some shuffleboard action in. it sounds vaguely like a concentration camp. why don't they just name it "Auschwitz Retirement Community"? to me, 'Labor Retreat' is really an oxymoron and not an attractive concept. when i get old, my spawn better not send me to Labor Retreat, but instead to Rum River Estates (yes, a real senior community). now that sounds like a place i could grow old gracefully at. just think of how crazy the bingo games could get?
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Brendan said...

I balk at anything with labor in the title myself. Or, real labor for that matter.

And yes, as regards chocolate being better than sex: I think they're either eating REALLY good chocolate or having REALLY bad sex. In related news, some Yogi once said that "A good shit is better than a bad fuck." True? Or not true.

And mortimer's is just down the road from me. Haven't mustered up the courage to go in yet. Afraid of midgets.

Jon said...

Sounds like the retirement home in Happy Gilmore.

"My fingers hurt."

"Now your back's going to hurt because you just pulled landscaping duty. Does anyone else's fingers hurt?"

Arthur Fonzarelli said...

having worked in the kitchen of a hospital/nursing home in a former life, i got to see the meaningless existence of many of our country's retirees for a few years. everyone i worked with agreed there's no way we're ever going to let ourselves wind up living in one.

hell, i'm not sure i have any incentive to live past 58.