I went to Wisconsin this weekend, land where the ghosts of cheese curds past haunt the asses of the residents in the form of dimples. It was an overall quality weekend, nothing out of the ordinary, other than the signs. I didn’t notice these on the way there because it was dark and I was excited for the coming festivities (a.k.a. drunk). Every 10 or so miles there are these anti abortion signs. I understand that it’s necessary to have nine kids there because many people live on a farm, and since slave labor isn’t legal, the other option is to use your own genetic material to make free workers that can’t really leave.
But what about everyone else, that doesn’t need to milk cows and shovel hay at home? Why cant WE clear out all unwanted uterus passengers? They dont seem to 'get' that even if it is outlawed, it will still happen, only by some guy that is NOT a doctor, in an alley, in his van with a rusty coat hanger. Just like prohibition, when they made booze illegal, it just reduced the quality control and then you had people going blind from their moonshine. It really pissed me off that these self-righteous assholes had the indignation at other people’s wombs to put up these signs. And these were all on main highways and interstates, not shitty little dirt roads, so it wasn’t like these could be avoided by people traveling through.
Granted I have never had an abortion, but seeing these douchebag signs made me want to get knocked up for the sole purpose of getting one. I remember when I was about 17, I asked my mom for an abortion for Christmas. After she stopped freaking out, and I told her I WASN’T pregnant, I explained I wanted it to be like a ‘get out of jail free’ card, that I could use anytime, in case the occasion arose. She wasn’t amused, and I ended up getting a car stereo, not an abortion gift certificate.
Lesson I learned: despite being able to buy booze on a Sunday, I could never live in the shit hole of Wisconsin. I kind of like my reproductive rights without the condemnation. Besides, who wants to have the ever present stench of cheese and ignorance on them all the time?