Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Whore Weasels At Sprint

So this weekend, I unfortunately left my phone charger at the cabin, granted I WAS sick with a cold, but still, I should’ve grabbed it. Because it is a solid 3+ hour drive, I had resigned myself to pay the dumbass fee that sprint charges to get a new charger, especially since it would’ve probably been cheaper than the gas it would take to get to Brainerd. Today, when I went to the Sprint store I was told that they do not have a charger for my cell phone type. I would totally understand if my phone was so archaic that they no longer carried it, but the whore weasels at Sprint sent me this phone LAST FUCKING WEEK when I lost mine, and it is one of the newest models samsung has.
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They sell my phone there, a car charger but no separate wall charger. I was forced to get a car charger to hold me over until I make other arrangements. What good is my phone without battery power? It’s like getting a massage from one of those seedy places in a strip mall and not getting a handjob afterwards. I don’t want a paperweight that looks like a cell phone, I want a cell phone to make calls, send drunken texts and take bizarre and often embarrassing pictures of myself. As it is, I will now ration how I spend my battery power, wondering do I REALLY need to call 911 when I see that guy with his car on fire on the side of the road. And who is responsible for that, THE WHORE WEASELS AT SPRINT!

It’s not really a mobile phone if I can only effectively use it while in my car or just coming from my car. I am not a goddamn gypsy that hangs out in my car all of the time. Why not just give me one of those brick-like phones that were as big as a center console of a car that they had back in the 80’s? Fuck, why not just give me two paper cups and some string? I hope when I was there at the store, coughing and spraying my cold-infected mucus all over the place, I managed to spread my awful cold to the rat bastards at Sprint. I have never hoped so much in my life that I have the bubonic plague.

22 comments:

Sara Sue said...

Rat bastards! The whole cell phone thing is such a racket. Charge you to call and to receive, half of which are dropped, and not THIS! Hell, I hope you have the plague too! :)

Sara Sue said...

NOT = NOW

jedimacfan said...

I have the benefit of using my iPod cradle as a charger. Same for the car. One adapter for everything. Clearly you need an iPhone.

The Fonz said...

I know you can download all kinds of porn to the thumbnail-size screen, detect police radar and listen to Japanese radio all from the convenience of a tiny phone that fits in your wallet, but sometimes I'm glad all I have is an old crusty Nokia. If I lose a charger, I'll find a million people with old accessories laying around, a million people who would gladly unload their cell phone antiques upon me.

You must be the only person who ever loses a charger. (And I love how every damn phone needs its own unique charger, it's all part of the scam. Speaking of which, I need to get in on that action. If this cell phone craze ever takes off, I want to get in on the ground floor!)

I mark my 10-year anniversary with T-mobile at the end of the year...back when it was known as Aerial. I'm thinking I'm due for a phone from this century.

C.Rag said...

Jedi jerks off to pictures of Steve Jobs.

TED VELVET said...

you maybe should have phones not. Say that in a Yoda voice and it's much funnier and sounds like really sound advice.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Sara: it's fucking snake oil, that's what it is. supposed to make our lives easier, but it really just gives us brain tumors and frustration.

Jedi: i could never get an iphone after bitching about them as hardcore as i did.

Fonz: you are missing out on so much not having a picture phone.

C.rag: tell me something i dont know.

ted: i might be starting to agree with you.

Hungry Mother said...

I bought an adapter that plugs in a wall socket and provides a cigarette lighter socket. When I travel, I bring that and my car power cord. I think I got the adapter pretty cheap at Radio Shack. Not that I'm excusing the rat bastards at Sprint.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Keep sending them text messages until they are so sick of hearing from you that they give you a new cell phone with a damn charger!

They may even make you their spokesperson....then again,I doubt that!

Mike said...

I would have been here to comment earlier but I was busy jerking off to pictures of Steve Jobs.

Oh...we've already covered that?

Never mind then.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Hungry: i called best buy upon Jedi's advice, and they carry it. so depending on the price, i might just buy that, return my car charger (more just because sprint was being a whore weasel)... i'll post an update tomorrow. but thanks; if for some reason best buy was lying to me, i'll go that route.

Prepon: i've been sending them pic mail messages that have been doctored by photoshop so i looks like dog the bounty hunter is being defiled by a topless rosie odonnell.

Mike:yeah, a little late on the draw, but nice try. who ISNT jerking off to steve jobs?

Malach the Merciless said...

I never had this problem as a young twenty something . .

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Geez TMo, you make such a big deal over everything. Stop by Wal-Mart, Circuit City, BestBuy, Target, etc. nd you can pick one up for $9.99. Take your phone with you.
Chill out. Life is too short.

R.E.H. said...

Hell... if they just sent you the phone they should really have a charger for it! Did you explain that to the nerds you spoke to?

I have a cell phone that is so old that if I would need a new charger, I wouldn't even bother asking for one. I'd just buy a new phone anyway.

Kerstin said...

My sympathies. Sprint blows. And now in a good way.

Sirdar said...

So...let me get this straight...its Sprints fault you left your charger behind? Right....

I think you better take another drink to get rid of that cold :-)

AngryMan said...

I think you should start weekly WHORE WEASEL awards. Also, why not just make the phone compatible to be charged by your sex drive/alcoholsim? It would never run out of power.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Malach: because back when you were in your 20's they did not have cell phones readily available.

Sag: i went to both walmart and target, so shut the fuck up. i went there first because it would've been cheaper. go eat a bunch of razor blades for assuming i didn't try the easy way out first.

REH: oh i mentioned it. but i guess sprint are just a group of douches.

kerstin: thanks

Sirdar: pay attention. i said it was my fault for leaving it (hence the whole part about me willing to pay the dumbass tax to replace it), but sprint should not send me a phone that they do not carry a charger for.

Angryman: very true. the douchebag of the month award doesnt come around often enough for the many assbags i encounter. and yes, i wish my phone had something i could breathe into that converted my blood alcohol into power.

Dorie said...

Hi- Nice to meet another Sprint hater! If felt so good when our contract expired! May they drop dead and decay! I have a TracPhone now. I'm not a big cell chatter, but it's nice having one for an emergency. No contract and seems to work fine.

Pope Benedict XVI said...

Ahh, God punishes the wicked, De Pope is just saying, you know.

Colonel Colonel said...

Cell phone? So you all seem to think those are going to, you know, catch on?

Sirdar said...

See what happens when you read too fast late at night? You screw up!!