A Birthday And A New Kind of Double Fisting

Saturday night was my friend Sarah’s 25th birthday celebration. I wasn’t planning on getting shitfaced because I still was recovering from Friday night’s shenanigans. However, as many of you know, when it’s someone’s birthday free shots are everywhere. We started off the night at Tom Reid’s, a hockey bar that has the GREATEST drink special (two for one’s from when the puck drops until the puck stops), which also contributed to my change in attitude about how drunk I was actually going to get.

The waitress was a sullen bitch (which was reflected in her poor tip, here’s a tip: “Don’t be a dick!”), who waited entirely too long to check on us. We had figured since it wasn’t that crowded, it would be like Burger King, where we had it ‘our way’, and got drinks quicker. Not so. She was also not amused at the Guinness chugging race between Carey and Joe. It’s a bar, these things will happen. It’s probably for the best that I had brought out my cell phone flask for its maiden voyage.

We stayed at Tom Reids until after the game, but then hit up the Halftime Rec at midnight, since it is within walking distance (we like to plan ahead) to Sarah and Joe’s house. One of the unique things about the Halftime Rec, is it has this stump where you can buy nails and then see who can get their nail all the way into the stump first, only using the pointy end of the hammer. It’s good times, but upon reflection, maybe it isn’t the brightest idea to give drunks hammers to play with.


As the night wore on, I stopped being so stealth with my cell phone flask action, and made many “long distance calls” with it. I even double fisted in a BRAND SPANKIN’ new way, with a pitcher of Guinness and my mixed drink. By the time we left at bar close, Sarah thought she locked her keys in her car, and we set off to walk back to her house. I didn’t have a jacket, but the gut full of booze kept me warm.

All night I had been trying to get some drunken sledding happening for after bar close, going on about how it was promised in the invite email. Looking back, it was probably for the best no one would go along with it because the park by her house is super steep, we were ueber drunk, and the snow was melting, which would’ve made it even slippery. Also, since we didn’t have a sled, we would’ve needed to go hobo sledding, in a cardboard box. Probably not real safe. Joe and his friends were playing guitar hero and drinking Michael Collins whiskey. I had already drank so much that I still felt drunk until 3pm the next day, so I instead passed out. Happy Birthday Sarah!