i fucking love croutons....

in my salad, all the time! i feel a little ripped off if they are missing. i realized at lunch while eating my salad that they are kinda like orgasms with sex. yes, sex is still enjoyable without them, but are made OHohOOOOOOOH so much better with them. just like orgasms, croutons are not all the same, but that's ok. i like garlic croutons, Caesar croutons, little ones, big ones (although, like orgasms, i do prefer the big ones), seasoned ones, cheese flavored croutons... salads abound with crouton possibilities. my eyes roll back in my head contemplating them and their crunchy goodness. if the restaurant feels that they should try to save a little money by leaving them out, they are like that lazy guy women go out on a date with, who thinks "oh the pleasure of me fucking her totally makes up for her lack of getting off." it's that kind of thinking that makes me not want to go back to that restaurant and makes women not want to go back out on a date with that apathetic guy.
not to overshadow my earlier comparison, texture wise, they are a bit like prostitutes. they are crusty, and break when i stab them with my fork. but yet i keep coming back for more. although, unlike a prosty, i never worry about getting HIV from my croutons. another point in their favor.