Saturday, October 13, 2007

Drunkmaste Yoga

First of all, if you were not supposed to drink in the morning, then why do so many drinks have orange juice in them? We all know orange juice is a breakfast beverage. My morning cocktail of choice is a mimosa. I like to get a middle of the road champagne, Korbel, and then some Tropicana OJ (because it's made in the same town I grew up in), and I am ready to start my day with a smile.

On Saturday and Sunday mornings, when I am not too hungover from the previous night's shenanigans, I like to exercise. Just like baking, I like to incorporate drinking into my work out, because I feel it enhances it. During the week, because of my pesky office job, I am regulated to non-drinking
Namaste Yoga, which although helpful, it's not as rewarding as my Drunkmaste Yoga.

The main purpose of namaste yoga is to center you and bring the flow of divine love at the beginning and end of each yoga session. I do all that good stuff AND bring the flow of alcohol to my bloodstream. Granted my balance is a little off, and I can't hold the positions as long as I do during sober namaste yoga, but it is still a productive endeavor.

I think many types of physical activities could benefit from adding liquor to it. I know my friends who participate in
beer kickball, they get exercise and drunk, all while helping their team "Salvation Through Coleslaw" to victory. I think that's why so many Americans are fat asses; exercise became a chore and not something that is fun. Booze can help put the desire back into people's hearts to get active. Especially with such zippy energy drinks like Red Bull being mixed with vodka, it sounds like a recipe for burning off the calories.

I understand booze has a lot of sugar in it, which make losing weight difficult. I have come up with my own unique solution; sometimes, I like to hide the alcohol when I'm drunk. Then the next day, when I want to imbibe again, I am forced to hunt for it like Easter eggs, before I can get my drink on. All of the energy expended in looking for my liquor makes it not only gratifying when I finally find it, but it allows me to find a balance

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Anonymous said...

I don't hide the booze, I hide the remote from my old man. It is so much fun watching him hunt for it and getting pissed off because he can't find it.

Mike said...

Ummm...I thought drinking was yoga...period. I didn't realize there was anything else involved.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

TequiMo, You are such an inspiration.
Most kids your age seem to be more content with getting a double shot of wheat grass down at the juice bar or taking two red bulls for a pick me up. You seem to be a throw back to my generation. Mix in a good healthy quantity of illegally obtained drugs and you'll be right with the program.
There's nothing better than a nice mellow alcohol/qualude (or any other good strong depressant or opiate based drug) high.
If you're looking to kick up for a while and go for a long term work out, drag out the bennies, coke or crystal meth (not the tooth rotting bullshit they make these days) and add some Mezcal and I guarantee you'll be doing something that's dangerous AND fun.
Worried about looking like Keith Richards when you're 50? Fuck that, who care what you look like when you're 50?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Prepon: sounds like a valid form of entertainment!

Mike: unfortunately, the majority of people who do yoga, DONT drink while doing it. they should though, and i'm doing my part to facillitate that change!

Sag: holy asscrackers! sounds like youre one of those full spectrum users... on one hand, illegal drugs might make my life more exciting and there may be a very good possibility i've already been down that road. anyway, on the other hand, i DO want to look like something other than the goddamn cryptkeeper when i'm old. hey, i think i'd make a great cougar, trying to score ass demi moore-style with someone 20 years younger than me.

Sara Sue said...

LMAO@ You just may be onto something here, Tequila! Love the *Irish Yoga* pic!

Phoebe Fay said...

Alcohol and yoga go together just fine. However, I had to give up the alcohol, yoga and naked hot-tubbing combination. There were bruises involved. And a slight risk of drowning.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

I did not start drinking until my 20's, and yoga until my 30's. My development as a human being has therefore been severely hampered. I'm known for being a lightweight in both disciplines.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

No worry TequiMo. Alcohol dries the skin for one thing which accelerates the wrinkling rate. . . especially those little fine cross hatch type wrinkles that begin in the mid to late 30s. Of course the decreased liver function causes the same effect . . . electrolyte and sugar imbalances along with toxin overload play havoc on tissue health which will lead to all sorts of old age symptoms.
Drugs, alcohol, it's all the same thing. The buzz gets paid.

Malach the Merciless said...

Let's see who gets this one:


Sirdar said...

It is always good to be active...and if you require drinking to make you active, then I don't see the negative in that. It wouldn't work for me, but I don't drink enough to worry about it. I get my exercise from working on my acreage...oh...and sex.

AngryMan said...

I'm just curious, but what don't you incorporate alcohol into?

Abobo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Abobo said...

I like getting drunk at Gameworks and playing DDR. DDR sober is as lame as DDR at home.

C.Rag said...

That irish yoga was me yesterday except I was at an Irish Pub in West Virginia.
Yes I said an Irish Pub in WV.

Anonymous said...

I do worry that a church basement is in your upcoming future, but that might be the perfect place to incorporate drinks as well.

Chickie said...

sometimes, I like to hide the alcohol when I'm drunk. Then the next day, when I want to imbibe again, I am forced to hunt for it like Easter eggs... You have stolen a piece of my heart.

Oh! And I see the green ribbon Patron here! Do you know how many times I've made my dog a necklace from that ribbon to wear while I drink? Many.


Never any left over to hide here...

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Check it out.
I give it a 9.
Good beat, nice melody, easy to dance to.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

I would imagine the alcohol would make you more flexible. Fewer strained and pulled muscles.

I can see that you're into the whole "my body is a temple" thing and you sure have some interesting ceremonies going on in there.

We started a tradition for Easter a couple of years ago with my wife's family. All the kids are too old for Easter egg hunts so we have them hide beer in the yard and all the adults go out and look for it.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Sara: i have a shirt with the same irish yoga thing on it.

Phoebe: that's unfortunate. it sounded like good times to me.

Here Today: come to minneapolis, i can help you with your yoga and drinking and drinking during yoga. it will be fucking enlightening.

Sag: so youre saying that drugs will help me age better? hmm, i call bullshit, but to each his own.

Malach: ??

Sirdar: you canadians rock.

Angryman: i dont incorporate alchahol into everything... unfortunately.

Abobo: goes back to my theory that anything and everything can be improved by booze.

C.rag: sounds unpatriotic.

Match: i do go to AA, but only to hear the stories. i'll be doing a post on it soon. seriously, some of the craziest stories you'll ever hear are at AA.

Chickie: hot! patron necklaces? you seem to be a woman of my own heart!

FourDin: usually that is the case, but sometimes i pass out before the bottle is empty.

Sag: agreed.

Bruce: very much so. like goddamn gumby. also, next easter, use the little bottles of liquor they give you on planes. more rewarding.