Thursday, October 4, 2007

Nothing funny about nitrous oxide

Yesterday was officially bad times. It went better than the last wisdom tooth I had pulled; it was around Christmas time, and the dentists office had Jolly Jesus music piped in, which was almost worse that having Dr. Dan wrenching out a tooth that had “exceptionally long roots”.

Anyway, I don’t get why anyone would want to be in a profession where everyone dreads coming to see them. It rivals (if not surpasses) IRS agents… I’m thinking the only reason he is so cheerful, is because he’s hitting that medical grade nitrous. And on the subject of nitrous oxide, I didn’t find anything to laugh about. Maybe he gave me less because I came in reeking of
bourbon, but when he had the pliers and other god-awful tools in my mouth digging around, laughter was the last thing on my mind.

On a not so positive note, I have another one that needs to come out on the other side, but he said he wanted to wait a little while because he wants
this one to have a chance to heal, which happens quicker when there is one side to chew on. I think he just wanted me to be able to give a blowjob if I needed/wanted to. Dr. Dan warned against dry sockets, and I told him that if he just packed it with percocet, we could avoid that predicament altogether. I got a resounding “no” on that request.

Not even
Magnum PI could comfort me last night. I know I’m in a bad place when I forgo mixers and drink straight out of the bottle (classy, I know). Rum and blood taste pretty gross together. Although, I think the straight alcohol will ensure I don’t get an infection.

21 comments:

Mike said...

I am surprised they just didn't knock you out for the procedure. It is so much easier that way.

My current dentist is someone I know "in the real world." He parties like a rock star and we call him Dr. Pain. Honestly, even though he is kind of a friend, I hate going to him to have work done because he is so freaking rough.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

I tried talking my wife out of having the dentist do her wisdom teeth. I would only consider an oral surgeon. I had novacaine, nitrous, AND sodium pentathol. Didn't feel a frickin' thing. I woke up hurting less than when I went under. That's all that mattered to me.
Man, if the sight of Tom in those ultra short OP shorts didn't bring comfort I don't know what would. Sounds like you need some TLC. Rum and blood? Sounds like something in a vampire bar. Take care.

Hot4AngryMan said...

I once had a butt plug that was stuck & I had to go to the emergency room. It was not a good experience. It was then I decided I needed to get a sex change.

Colonel Colonel said...

If you haven't yet seen it, you might look up the Steve Martin/Laura Dern movie "Novocaine", it's quite good.

"Dr. Frank Sangster (Steve Martin) is a straight-laced dentist who because of one innocent lie, finds his tidy, prosperous life transformed into a comic quagmire of illicit sex, illegal drugs and inexplicable murder in this brilliantly offbeat, bitingly comedic film!"

I think drinking bourbon straight from the bottle was right- it sloshes around better and will indeed combat infection.

At least that's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

I had an oral surgeon do my wisdom teeth when I was in my mid-20s. One had chipped and he said "well, I could grind it, but it's gotta come out sometime, so why not now, and they really should be done in pairs (upper & lower) AND as long as we've got you under for those 2, why not just take all four out at the same time?

It sounded like good advice at the time...

I told this story last week on Sirdar's blog, but it might be amusing enough (he says modestly) to repeat if you missed it-

Back when I had it done I was being put under, so they demanded that someone come along since I could not drive home, and they suggested wearing old clothes that I did not mind getting "a little" blood on. Fine. I wore an old light tan shirt.

I was quite groggy after it all was over, and didn’t look in a mirror or anything at the clinic. On the way home we stopped at the local video store so I could rent a movie or two to watch that night. As I was walking up and down the aisles I sort of realized that people were looking at me strangely, and moving away whenever I entered their aisle. Groggy as I still was, that did not really register to me as much more than a curiosity.

When I got home and looked in the mirror, I saw that the front if my shirt was covered with blood. I looked like a refugee from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

jedimacfan said...

So, about these blowjobs...

Cash said...

Pain will come when your heads are on poles.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!©

Tequila Mockingbird said...

mike: i wish they would've. might have been easier to deal with. your description of your dentist sounds like a bad date "he parties like a rockstar... but he's just too rough.."

Bruce: yeah, i know if tom selleck in short shorts doesnt perk me up, there's serious problems. rum helped.

HOT4: next time ask angry man to help you dislodge it.

Colonel: niiiiiiice. yeah i saw the story on Sindar's blog that he directed me to yesterday. thanks for the retelling. my face is bruised and to complete strangers i'm sure it looks like i'm the victim of domestic abuse.

jedi: they exist.

CASH: actually, i think once my head is on a pole, i might feel no pain at all. just a hunch.

C.Rag said...

Dentists suck. They're dentists because they couldn't get into real med school. They also suck because dentists make a lot of money & they usually only work four days a week. I should really marry one & then kill him & get all of teeth money.

matchchatter said...

When I had back surgery I often took my Percocets with a nice glass of wine, says no on the bottle but I feel its the only way to take them.

get well soon

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Rum and Blood? Ya shoulda stuck with the bourbon.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Sorry to hear it was a rough ride. (Looking forward to your meme answers!)

Tequila Mockingbird said...

C.rag: how would cockmaster feel about that? or would he just hook up with some hot rich broad?

match: thanks! no need to feel guilty about mixing narcs with booze. whatever works!

sag: ehhh maybe. i'm not a big bourbon person though.

here today: it'll get better; tomorow there will be answers to your "tag"

C.Rag said...

CockMaster...who?
Oh yeah my husband. I forgot about him.

Malach the Merciless said...

KY Jelly is good from dry sockets

Sirdar said...

Glad you got it out and are still alive. Too bad you have to go back and get the other one out. As I said in my experience last week, they took out 3 of them.

Oh...and why do they chose that profession? M O N E Y

Pope Benedict XVI said...

I like my altar boys with no wisdom teeth, yes, yes.

keysinunez said...

i got one extracted and ironically, i didn't feel bad about it. maybe it's because my dentist was attractive, had 34C bewbies, and didn't mind if them puppies grazed a part of my body. if i wasn't in so much pain i would've won the boner of the century award (if there was one)

Beach Bum said...

Yesterday was officially bad times. It went better than the last wisdom tooth I had pulled; it was around Christmas time, and the dentists office had Jolly Jesus music piped in...

Somehow having a tooth pulled while having to listen to sickly sweet Christmas music rates as hell on earth to me. I hope you are feeling better.

Sara Sue said...

Good lord ... and you have to have ANOTHER ONE pulled?? Gahhh!

I loved Malach's answer to dry sockets!

AngryMan said...

Shouldn't your dentists have noticed all the other wisdom teeth so that you don't have to go back eighty-million times? LAWSUIT, LAWSUIT!!!

Tink said...

I hate laughing gas. The smell makes me gag and then it always feels like I'm suffocating. Bleh. Teeth business is just bad business. I do my best to stay out of the dentist office entirely.