Wednesday, October 3, 2007

I know why they call them wisdom teeth...

So, I’m about to get a wisdom tooth pulled, and I can honestly say I’m not anticipating it. However, I do know why these are called wisdom teeth. The last time I had one of these pulled, I had procrastinated so much it became infected. This sucked for two reasons: 1) my face was swollen (I still looked super hot, of course, and got many offers to make out. 2) The Novocain didn’t work and I remember screaming a lot (sure scared the 7 year old waiting to get his teeth cleaned). What makes these wisdom teeth worthy of their name, is that this time, when they started to become sensitive, I went to see the dentist and get it taken care of before it looked like I had a wad of dirty toilet paper in my cheek. I am becoming more wise indeed.

When I was on the phone with Alysa, a friend of mine from Florida about this upcoming removal she had some sage advice. Keep in mind, I don’t have much of a southern accent, except when I am super tired or especially drunk, but hers is heavy. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, because we grew up in the same town, only a few miles away from each other. It’s just one of those peculiar facets of Florida , possibly a product of all of the Northern people coming to Florida to die, vacation or sometimes both. Anyway, so she says in her southern debutante voice: “Yah need tah rub sum ol granddad on yer gumz to make it fil better. When I hayud mah root can’l done I rubb’d sum ol granddad on mah teeth and felt lotz bettuh.” Perhaps I wouldn’t have been so freaked out if I was from the ‘glades, where playing spank and tickle with your cousin is not only accepted, but expected. Once I stopped sputtering and making disgusted sounds, she explained that Ol Granddad was a type of bourbon, and it numbed her gums up.

Off I go, Ol Granddad on my gums, ready to have a tooth ripped out. I’m not looking forward to it, but when there is nitrous involved with me, hilarity usually ensues.

20 comments:

AngryMan said...

As to cousins playing with each other, remember, incest is best. It's a game the whole family can play. I can say that, I'm from SC.
Also, let me know how the Ole Grandad tastes. I've been thinking about trying it out for a while, but I'm a routine guy and I stick to Jim Beam and Evan Williams (Wild Turkey or Makers if money magically appears in my wallet).
Hope the procedure goes well!

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Good Luck! Let us know how it goes.

here today, gone tomorrow said...

Getting your wisdom teeth pulled means you get to eat ice cream. It's the rules.

P.S. I saw you whining about not being tagged by mike, so I'm tagging you! Have at it, missy!

C.Rag said...

I had laughing gas when I had my wisdom teeth out & that fucked me up. My Ma & CockMaster were waiting for & I thought they were hilarious. Without drugs, they're not funny…not one bit.

Bruce, a work in progress said...

Wisdom teeth suck!!! Mine got impacted and infected and I had three taken out at once then had to back for the fourth because the infection had been too bad. I was in college and had to wait three days before I could get the oral surgeon appointment. It was a long three days. Although I must Organic Chemistry lab while on codeine was very interesting. I hope it goes well for you. Watch out for dry sockets (whatever the hell that means).

And my old Italian grandmother used to rub whiskey on the grandkids' gums when they were teething. I don't know if it relieved pain but it put'em to sleep so you didn't have to listen to them whine. I blame her for my drinking.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

angryman: the rest of that rhyme goes-- 'incest is the best, put your cousin to the test'. seems like you might have had some personal experience with that. is that why you are so angry?

ol granddad isnt so bad. tastes kind of smokey.

Prepon: thanks!

here today: i dont think i'll want to eat much of anything. my evenings plans include a lot of narcotics, booze, magnum pi marathon that i've been saving up on the tivo, and possible hallucinations when i try to change the guaze.

C.rag: hmm, sounds like you need to be on the nitrous more often.

Bruce: the key is to never admit you have a drinking problem, then there is no one to blame!

Eric & Pug said...

You'll never guess what I have right now. YES, a bottle of Old Grand-dad.

Got it on my 40th. never cracked it open.

Hope everything goes well.

XOXO

Malach the Merciless said...

Got mine done years ago, about your age, very easy, hardly any pain, and was eating solid food same day.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

What? Is cuzins incest?

jedimacfan said...

If you go under for it, you'll miss out on all the awesome grinding, scratching, and popping sounds that happen during the surgery. Not to mention the awesome drilling and sawing noises, and the eventual showing of your teeth cut in half.

At least that's how the Navy does it.

Mike said...

I had all of my wisdom teeth pulled at once. It was nice because they knocked me right the hell out and when I woke up, it was all over.

Hot4AngryMan said...

AngryMan doesn't know anything about incest. He only does me all night long with his golden penis.

Sara Sue said...

I bet you're a hoot on the nitrous! You didn't happen to record the event, did you?

Hope you recover quickly.

Phoebe Fay said...

I've had one wisdom tooth pulled. It wasn't actually all that bad, but still, I milked the pain and suffering aspect for all it was worth. (I also had it done right after Christmas when a) I could stand to stop eating and b) my mom was still in town to baby me.)

Bruce, a work in progress said...

I said I blamed her for my drinking. I never said it was a problem.

Beach Bum said...

Had a sorry dentist when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. He yanked, I thrashed, Mr. Dentist took one to the jaw ending up on the floor. Good luck

Sirdar said...

Well...I'd like to give you sympathy but I just had mine out last Thursday: Wisdom Teeth Story
They took out 3 of them. Apparently, one didn't grow in so that is why 3 of them. They put me out..thank goodness.

All I can say is that is wasn't as bad as people told me. Good luck with yours. It is better to get them out if they hurt.

moooooog35 said...

Are you sure your friend was talking about liquor when she said to rub Ol Grandad on your gums? Remember, she's from the south, after all...and you WERE talking about incest. I'm not sure it would make your gums feel better, but it would probably take your mind off the pain (plus, when's the last time you did anything really good for your Grandad?)

The only thing I really remember from my wisdom teeth is coming out of it, still loopy, and hitting on the nurse with blood dripping down my jaw. I looked HOT.

Enjoy.

Moooooog35
http://midgetmanofsteel.blogspot.com

Colonel Colonel said...

How did I miss this post yesterday? I hope everything went well! I'm off to today's post to find out...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

E & P: niiiiice!

Malach: not all of us are that fortunate.

Sagacious: lolzzz

jedi: i am glad i read your comment AFTER it was over. i didnt miss out on any of that fun stuff BTW.

Pheobe: that sucks. my last one awas done around xmas, and it was way worse than the one i had pulled yesterday, partially because of the timing.

Sirdar: thanks for sharing the story.

MOooooG: YOU can do that stuff with your grandad, but i will pass. we are not THAT close of a family. also, he is dead. that might post a slight problem.

Colonel: pay better attention. however, you do NOT fail because you realized yoru error.