Picture Phones Arent Always The Best Idea...

After seeing a picture of a particularly unattractive friend doing some especially unflattering actions, and then wanting to pour bleach on my corneas, I have decided that picture phones are a vey very bad idea. Granted, some of the quality pictures I have posted on here, like the sandwich toilet and Kenny G were taken with a picture phone and wouldn’t be available if not for the handiness of it. That logic only goes SO FAR, when one is accosted with some of the awful things that are being captured with these contraptions. For example, I have a friend who was snooping in her boyfriend’s phone, and found out that he and his friends have this game of taking pictures of their bowel movements as sort of a running contest. WTF? She did learn her lesson, and has never looked at his outgoing or incoming picture mail again.

Another big reason why having a handy camera is not the best idea, is because it offers a vehicle with which to transport proof of shenanigans to eager eyes. Usually, when one blacks out, nothing they did that night/weekend counts, because they cannot remember it. But when there is physical proof, the blackout excuse is no longer valid. If you are forced to confront whatever scandalous activities you were engaged in during a blackout, then what has the world come to?


As soon as I heard about it, I knew iphones were the snake oil of my generation (they had over 30 glitches in the first model). Of course people went nuttier than squirrel shit for them, becoming wrapped up in the i-perbole that is part of all mac products. I’m strictly segregationist when it comes to my ipod and my cell phone. SEPARATE BUT EQUAL, segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever. Is it really necessary to combine ipods and cell phones? What else will be start combining? Hotdog boilers in the back of toilet tanks? Same concept… I love my hotdogs, and I like having indoor plumbing, but I do not want them combined just because it MIGHT make my life simpler, but will probably just become a bigger pain in the ass when it breaks and now I am out two important products in my life, instead of just one.

UPDATE: shortly after posting this, my childhood friend, Bob, sends two pictures of himself taking a dump (he already had these, and both were taken on different occasions, as evidenced by his different clothing) at the gas station where there is a mirror in front of the toliet. Why do places, in public or private homes feel it's a good idea to put mirrors in front of the toliet? I don't care how hot you are, NO ONE looks attractive while taking a dump (sorry Bob, not even you).